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Leadership Tip of the Month

September 2003

Copyright 2003 ã weLEAD, Inc.

Are You Listening? Part 2

To be successful leaders we must develop the vital skill of active listening. This is part of an overall need for effective oral communication. Active listening is the ability to listen intently to what others are saying, understand what they are communicating and show a response of positive affirmation that we are hearing and comprehending their remarks. Part 1 of this subject was published as the weLEAD August “Tip of the Month”. Below are the four final guidelines we can use to improve our active listening skills.

Show empathy – Most people fear ridicule or rejection when they are expressing their ideas and opinions. If the listener implies they disapprove of the person or their feelings, it only inhibits further communication. Respond to the speaker by your manner and speech that you really care about what the speaker is saying even if you don’t agree with what is being said! Hear them out completely and allow them to express their feelings before extended commentary. One can disagree without being disagreeable!

Use probing remarks to overcome inhibitions – Aside from empathy, another way to draw a speaker out of their apprehensions is to ask nonthreatening questions that probe their feelings. Examples of these include, “How do you feel about that?” or “Can you remember a specific example of when that happened?” or “What happened next?”. When these are done without a hint of rejection or evaluation, they can make the speaker feel more comfortable in communicating.

Promote suggestions for helping others to solve problems – Good leaders know that rather than offering advice it is more effective to help others to solve problems. Many people are sensitive about accepting advice from others. A common goal of sound leadership is to teach others to develop leadership skills by taking the initiative to deal with problems on their own. This can also be encouraged by asking some probing questions such as, “What would you recommend should be done?” or “What are the alternatives?” or “How would you accomplish that?”.

Complement your interaction – Being a good communicator means that we develop a proper sense of when to re-enter a conversation. This means we are willing to adjust our own speaking patterns to correspond with the qualities of another person. Sound communication is disrupted when both individuals attempt to talk simultaneously or interrupt each other. Other disruptions can occur when one makes comments that show a clear disregard for what was just communicated by another, or if you abruptly change topics in the middle of a conversation. Be sensitive and aware of these disruptions and adjust your interaction skills in these situations to complement the existing communication.

For weLEAD, this is Greg Thomas reminding you that it was Kelly Stephens who wrote, “If you want people to notice your faults, start giving advice”.

To learn more about leadership go to the weLEAD Home Page!