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Leadership Tip of the Month

July 2003

Copyright 2003 ã weLEAD, Inc.

Leadership and Confrontation?

Recently I had the privilege of providing a weLEAD leadership seminar to a group of educators at Villanova University. I was impressed by the enthusiasm and dedication that this fine group demonstrated. As I finished the second day, we opened up a “questions and answer” session to the audience. One particular educator had a dilemma. She worked with an individual supervisor who was not responsive to the leadership skills I had been teaching the past two days. Furthermore, this supervisor was using outdated skills and an ineffective approach communicating with others. She asked, “What can I do”? She did not appear to accept my answer. I suggested she patiently and tactfully sit down with the supervisor and express her concerns! I encouraged her to gently tell the individual that their approach is hurting others and not very effective. I also encouraged her to begin the conversation by telling the supervisor his good skills and how much these fine qualities are appreciated. As I concluded my answer, you could see the look of resignation on her countenance. Her expression said, “Oh, no I just can’t do that”!

Being a leader is not easy and it often requires the ability to take risks and even confront individuals who are harming others or themselves. One should not take the need to confront an individual or situation lightly. It is a highly emotional event and we naturally feel apprehensive. It requires good planning, the right environment and the genuine intention to help someone to see themself or their actions as others see them. Be prepared to discuss factual events and real life examples, not simply hearsay or rumor. It is easy to procrastinate or hope that if we wait long enough, perhaps the problem will go away. Sadly, the problem seldom does and meanwhile serious damage can be done to the group or organization. If handled properly, a confrontation can often become simply an unpleasant event rather than a heated or angry exchange depending on our attitude and approach. I suggest the approach discussed in the September 2001 weLEAD Tip of the Month entitled, “Correcting a Co-worker”.

Peter Block comments in his book Stewardship, Choosing Service Over Self-Interest, “Sometimes in the spirit of participation, managers pull back too far. If we confront dysfunctional behavior, we get accused of being insincere in our efforts to give up control. We are told we are not walking our talk. Don’t buy it. There is tyranny in the claim that we cannot confront people or even express anger when we are partners.”

We must remember that leaders seek positive change and this is done through our influence. If we have taken the time to build relationships with others, and we are compelled to confront them, they will be more receptive.

For weLEAD, this is Greg Thomas reminding you that it was Abraham Lincoln who wrote the following quote regarding leadership, “It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong”.

To learn more about leadership go to the weLEAD Home Page!