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Just What Is Personal Leadership?

- One Leaders Perspective

By Greg Thomas

You have probably read or heard the following scenario a hundred times! An actor, athlete, politician or religious figure appears to have it all. They struggle for many years to develop the skills needed to get to the top. They have a burning desire to be the best. They appear to “pay their dues” and make a total commitment to reach the pinnacle of their craft. Then, when it seems they have climbed to the top of the mountain and finally achieved their lifetime goal of celebrity, wealth, power, or prestige…it happens. A fatal flaw rapidly appears to bring them down like a house of cards. For some it may be a life altering addiction, or a blatant lack of integrity. For others it may be outright hypocrisy or a self-absorbed ego that has led them to believe they are now above the standards and justice that everyone else is expected to live by. Whatever the reasons or excuses given, they all have one important thing in common. In spite of their talents and abilities they lacked an essential trait needed to preserve success. This trait is personal leadership. It is a term you will often find in the various articles of this magazine.

Personal leadership is the desire of an individual to take charge of his or her own life. Personal leaders realize that leadership is not a position or title, but an outlook on life and their role in the world. The best way I can describe personal leadership is to discuss some of its desired traits. Like most things worth having, these do not come easily to a person. If they did, the individuals discussed in the opening paragraph would have had it. On the other hand, living a philosophy of personal leadership does not require a magical formula. Nor is it available to only a few. It is actually available to most but what it requires is a commitment to balance, a sense of purpose and values. If personal leadership had a motto it would be this, “Before I seek to change or motivate others I must first learn to change and motivate myself. I must first become the change I wish to see in others.” In this way personal leadership is also about becoming a good follower as we seek continuous improvement and correct our course when convicted. Let’s discuss a few traits or qualities of personal leadership. Some of these qualities I have already discussed in past issues of weLEAD Online Magazine. You can find a listing of these articles here.

Personal leaders have a game plan for their life. Call it what you will…personal mission statement, life strategic plan, setting of goals or a personal punch list…it is all about giving your life direction or establishing a clear path for your life. Unfortunately most people live their lives like a raft floating in the ocean. They bob up and down, left and right, over and under, depending on the tempest of the sea. They become victims of circumstances and allow time to make decisions they are unwilling to make for themselves. Personal leaders are absolutely convinced they have a great degree of control over their own outcomes and circumstances. They are not about to leave their future in the hands of “time and chance”. The sea change they look forward to is the one that occurs when they have learned something new and decide to now make it a part of their life. Just like an athlete or their team needs a game plan to excel, so does a personal leader. A mental break-through comes when we take the vague ideas and goals rolling around in our head and put them on paper as a personal mission statement! When done correctly and reviewed often it has the potential to magnify our focus and increase our desire for achievement at a higher level. In discussing goals Gary Wills reminds us that leadership and followership are void without a third element. He writes, “But the discussion cannot get far without a third thing – the goal.” The goal is the cement that holds the leader/follower relationship together and this includes the way we relate to our own hearts and minds. Remember, as personal leaders we are internally both followers and leaders at the same time!

Most personal leaders realize and accept the fact that there is a spiritual element to life. They may not totally understand it or always sense it but they know it is there. I know the discussion of spirituality is not considered vogue or “politically correct” in some circles. That is too bad and their personal loss. Respected author Peter Block reminds us that, “Spirituality is the process of living out a set of deeply held personal values, of honoring forces or a presence greater than ourselves. It expresses our desire to find meaning in, and to treat as an offering what we do”. This spiritual element provides a number of positive characteristics that cannot be found or nurtured anywhere else. The personal leader knows the purpose of their existence must go far beyond the pursuit of the “whoever dies with the most toys wins” philosophy of our modern society. They know that every day of life is a precious gift and an endowment to become something even better. This spiritual element also provides them a mental toughness to endure the difficult periods of their life. They come to realize that sad or tragic things also happen for a purpose even if we do not yet understand exactly what that purpose is.

Another characteristic of the spiritual element for a personal leader is accepting risk and responsibility. Personal leadership is not about comfort zones or the status quo, it is about the passion for continual growth and improvement. Every positive and healthy change that has ever occurred in human civilization has only come about by great struggle and by rejecting the way things are as “good enough”. Personal leaders accept the challenge to make things better…to inspire others to become better…to win! In contrast, most folks will accept only a very limited degree of risk or accountability. Therefore they don’t seek to become winners, they just try not to lose! John Gardner reminds us that, “Most people in most organizations most of the time are more stale than they know, more bored than they care to admit. All too often it is because they have not been encouraged to use their own initiative and powers of decision. And if they are not expected to use their decision-making powers, they are off the hook of responsibility”. Personal leadership is the opposite of this common workplace dilemma. It is all about initiative, decision-making and responsibility.

For the personal leader this spiritual element affects how they view themselves and others. Since they know they are accountable for their attitudes and actions they do a regular self-analysis. It is interesting to note that most major religious faiths in the world designate a period of time or a season for the followers to perform a candid self-analysis. Personal leaders know and acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses. They work hard to build on these strengths and use them to propel their life in a positive direction. They also work to correct or at least modify their weaknesses. Yes, a personal leader is willing to do a critical self-appraisal and ask themselves where they need to do better…where they must do better. Steven Covey has written the following powerful statement. “The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves, inside our circle of influence, our own character.” This inner relationship, like all healthy relationships…must be built around honesty and not self-denial.

However, here is an important key. This meditative analysis should be honest and candid. It should provoke disappointment in our failings and a resolve to become more than we presently are. However, it should not be a negative routine of “beating” or tearing ourselves down. Why? A negative self-analysis decreases our motivation, and it doesn’t offer ANY solutions. It is for this reason that major religious faiths of the world also have a theological concept called “forgiveness”. This means that it is indeed important to analyze our faults and acknowledge them. It is productive to accept responsibility for them and determine to change. However, once this is done it is also important to let it go and get on with life. We can’t change what we did or said yesterday. We can apologize and resolve to be better but we can’t change yesterday. There is no benefit to “mentally reliving” or beating ourselves over and over again for something that is in the past. We can’t do anything about what has already happened but we can have a positive effect on what happens today and tomorrow! This is why personal leaders learn to focus on the present and not on the past.

Personal leaders have strong values and these principles become their moral and ethical compass. Values like integrity, honesty, kindness, open-communication and treating others with dignity is the hallmark of the 21^st century leader. This is a dramatic change from what was accepted in the past, especially in democratic cultures where people now have a choice of who and what to follow. Followers will now abandon the self-absorbed or hypocritical leader. They no longer need to put up with a phony and when they discover that a leaders’ real interest is manipulative or selfish they will leave. Followers and supporters now have just a few words for this kind of leader…goodbye and good-riddance! Treating others with fairness and respect is an underlying value behind the personal leadership philosophy. For most people, competition toward others is the “name of the game”. Even within the same organizations individuals spend most of their time competing with each other for power, rank or privilege. Everyone is trying to claw their way to the top without regard to the real cost to others or the organization. Personal leadership is about self-competition. The real question is not did I win, but how did I do today. It doesn’t make sense to compare yourself to others because you can only control your own performance. Self-competition means we try to do better today than we did yesterday because we constantly try to perform at a personal best. From this perspective, “winning or losing” against others becomes a secondary consideration and even irrelevant.

The last trait I will discuss for a personal leader is that of leaving a legacy. Most people with a strong ambition and degree of success attempt to build monuments to themselves or establish large companies that bear their name. This is a shallow and fleeting hope for immortality. Eventually monuments crumble and it is no great honor to have your family name associated with peanut butter or toilet tissue! The personal leader believes they were given both life and opportunity as a gift and for a definite purpose. Yes, they also want to leave a positive legacy, but not in buildings or in the prominence of their name. Instead they know that a lasting legacy with real value…is in people. It begins with their families and loved ones. They seek to inspire and motivate their loved ones to reach their own potential and fulfill their very own dreams. But it doesn’t stop there! The personal leader deeply wants to give something back to the world as a thank you for the gift of life on a crowded planet. This kind of leader wants to impart what they have learned to others to help make their lives more productive and fulfilling! It may be in serving the community, mentoring others, visiting the lonely, teaching a class, or any number of ways to leave a personal endowment of service to the world. Every personal leader will have their own niche or way of serving, but it is from this that we will often find the greatest satisfaction.

In conclusion, these are some of the common traits that define what personal leadership is. No one I have ever met has all of these traits or has them completely. I know I certainly don’t have them all or to the degree I desire. No one is perfect and that includes those who seek to be leaders. These traits are the ideals we should all strive for each and every day. Taken together they help create a balance that promotes our stability and “keeps our feet on the ground”. Personal leaders are not superior to other people. They have simply chosen to make a difference in the world beginning in a small way…and to start this process within themselves. They have consciously decided to first become the change they wish to see in others and in this world. They are committed to the belief that personal leadership is about becoming a good follower, seeking continuous improvement, and correcting our own flaws when convicted. As we have seen by the example of countless actors, athletes, politicians or religious figures…the lack of personal leadership brings an inevitable decline and fall.

But, when your personal life is in balance, because you have chosen to control its direction and accept responsibility, virtually anything is possible.

Comments to: gthomas@leadingtoday.org

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About the author:

Greg has over 20 years of sales and marketing experience within the electrical distribution industry. Some of his positions have included being a National Sales Manager, National Marketing Manager and for the past 10 years that of Regional Sales Manager. He also has extensive experience in public speaking and has written articles for various publications. Greg has a Master of Arts degree in Leadership from Bellevue University where he presently serves as an adjunct faculty member teaching courses in management. Greg is also the president and founder of weLEAD Incorporated.

References:

Block, P. (1996). Stewardship – Choosing Service over Self-interest. San Francisco: Beret-Koehler Publishers

Covey, S. (1992). Principle-Centered Leadership. New York: Fireside (Simon & Schuster)

Gardner, J. (1990). On Leadership. New York: The Free Press.

Wills, G. (1994). Certain Trumpets – The Call of Leaders. New York: Simon & Schuster