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The Twelve Principles of Personal
Leadership
Principle #7 – A
Life in Balance
-One Leader’s Perspective
By Greg L. Thomas
Recently
I was reading about a woman who won the New Jersey state lottery twice! Once in
1985, and again in 1986 for a total of 5.4 million U.S. dollars. Do you think
she is living on easy street? Perhaps she spends her days in comfort and using
her money to make the world a better place for the less fortunate? No, the money is gone and she lives in a trailer
home! Another man named William Post won 16.2 million U.S. dollars in the 1988
Pennsylvania lottery. After a series of bad investments and bad personal relationships the excitement
quickly ended. Within a year he was a million dollars in debt and lives today
on a monthly $450 Social Security check and food stamps provided by the
government. Recently in my home state of Ohio, the widow of a former lottery
winner was interviewed by a local newspaper. She told the sad story of her
former husband turning into an alcoholic and destroying his life and health
after winning the lottery. She stated that if you already have serious
problems, money only makes those problems bigger!
Perhaps you have read or heard similar scenarios a hundred
times! In addition to lottery winners I am sure you could name an actor,
athlete, politician or religious figure who appeared to have it all. They
struggled for many years to develop the skills needed to get to the top. They
had a burning desire to be the best. They appeared to “pay their dues” and make
a total commitment to reach the pinnacle of their craft. Then, when it seems
they had climbed to the top of the mountain, and finally achieved their
lifetime goal of celebrity, wealth, power, or prestige…it happened. A fatal
personal flaw suddenly explodes to bring them down like a house of cards. For
some it may be a life altering addiction, or a blatant lack of integrity. For
others it may be outright hypocrisy or a self-absorbed ego that has led them to
believe they are now above
the law and justice that everyone else is expected to live by. Whatever the
reasons or excuses given, they all have one important thing in common. In spite
of their talents and abilities, they lacked an essential principle needed
to preserve success. That principle is establishing and maintaining a life in
proper balance.
Personal leadership is the desire of an individual
to take charge of his or her own life. They realize that leadership is not a
position or title, but an outlook on life and their role in the world. Like most things, “balance” does not come
easily to most people. If it did, the individuals discussed in the opening
paragraphs would have had it and their stories would be different. Living a philosophy
of personal leadership does not require a magical formula. Nor is it available
to only a few. It is actually available to most folks but what it requires
is a deep commitment to balance, a sense of purpose and values. The plain truth
is that most people are unwilling to make this kind of a commitment because it
requires self-discipline and personal sacrifice. If personal leadership had a
motto it would be this, “Before I seek to change or motivate others I must first
learn to change and motivate myself. I must first become the change I
wish to see in others.” In this way personal leadership is also about becoming
a good follower. We learn to follow our own conscience as we seek continuous improvement and correct our
course when convicted of our need for change.
Personal leaders have a game plan for their
life. Call it what you will…personal mission statement, life strategic plan,
setting of goals or a personal punch list…it is all about giving your life direction
or establishing a clear path for your life. Unfortunately most people
live their lives like a raft floating in the ocean. They bob up and down, left
and right, over and under, depending on the tempest of the sea… their
environment. They become victims of circumstance and allow time to make
decisions they are unwilling to make for themselves. In contrast, personal
leaders are absolutely convinced they have a great degree of control
over their own outcomes and circumstances. They are not about to leave their
future in the hands of “time and chance”. The sea change they experience
is the one that occurs when they have learned something new and decide to make
it a part of their life right now! Just like an athlete or their team needs a
game plan to excel, so do we. A mental break-through comes when we take
the vague ideas and goals rolling around in our head and put them on paper as a
personal mission statement! When done correctly and reviewed often, it
has the potential to magnify our focus and increase our desire for achievement
at a higher level This is why we laid the foundation of personal success with
principle #1, The
Right Visionary Goals.
Since this first principle, we have discussed the
need for Continuous
Education (#2), Maintaining
Your Health (#3), Driven
to Achieve your dreams (#4), Tap
Into Your Resources for problem solving and innovation (#5) and Dealing
with the Disappointments that come along (#6). Now we come to the next vital principle that holds our life
together like spiritual glue. Without a life in balance all the previous
principles will only get us so far and we may achieve a high level of success
or fulfillment… for a while. But, if we allow our life to become unbalanced by nurturing or tolerating
addictions, obsessions, or neglect of the really important things, we will eventually flush it all down the drain.
Why do we need balance? Life is a complex mixture of personal needs and
responsibilities. These include family, work, recreation, spirituality, community
and self-fulfillment. These areas all need attention and nurturing. If this
doesn’t happen an unbalance occurs in life.
Many of the folks who win the lottery, as well as
many celebrities, were already living unbalanced lives when “success” suddenly
appeared. Some were addicted to drugs, alcohol or sex before the money and
glamour arrived. Others were incapable of handling their finances before the riches materialized. All that
the notoriety and cash did was aggravate a dysfunction and accelerate it! The lack of balance was the Achilles heel in
their lives. Another negative
consequence of wealth to an unbalanced person is the ability to “try” new
things now that they have enough money to do it.
An addiction
to any kind of substance makes us a slave to the craving. We are not
happy unless we feed it again…and again. After a period of time it consumes our
thoughts and energies. It becomes the primary thing we need and think about. We are unhappy and unsettled if we don’t have
it. An addiction takes over our life and we begin to neglect other areas that
need and deserve attention. For example, something as seemingly innocuous as
cigarette smoking can have very negative consequences. It makes the individual
who smokes stink! It is unhealthy to the smoker and those who are around them.
It is controlling and addictive in two different ways. The psychological addiction causes you to
only feel content if you have something in your mouth. The physical addiction is the craving for more nicotine. In business, I
have often been amazed to see people flee out of a meeting in a panic because
they “need a cigarette” to feel content.
An obsession is when we spend too much
thought and time on any one thing. It may not be as destructive as a physical
addiction, but it can have the same effect. For example, being a workaholic is an obsession. Many who
become workaholics do so because they falsely believe they can find meaning or
achievement in their work. Others are trying to avoid doing something else they should be doing. Of itself, work is
a good thing and can be fulfilling. However, when we become consumed with
“work” or success we neglect our family and friends. We then sow the seeds of
destroying our personal relationships! Remember, life is a complex mixture of personal needs and
responsibilities. These include family, work, recreation, spirituality,
community and self-fulfillment. These areas all need attention and nurturing.
If this doesn’t happen an unbalance occurs in life.
An
unbalanced life is not providing the right mixture of resources to every
personal need just mentioned. We are finite beings and our personal resources
are limited. When one area of life consumes most of our energies, thoughts,
time and attention… instability occurs and eventually becomes the norm. Allow
me to use an analogy…
If you have ever worked on a computer that has a
Microsoft WindowsŇ
operating system, you know exactly what I mean about limited resources. A
software program interacts with the computer hardware to become a working Personal
Computer for an individual. Combined together, this interaction between
software and hardware is designed to be completely compatible and is often
referred to as system resources. Depending on the motherboard design,
CPU, Random Access Memory (
It is not my intent to criticize the most popular
operating system on earth or point out its flaws. Actually, it is getting
better with each version. So what does all of this information have to do with balance?
It actually gives us a lot to think about as we apply this information and draw
an analogy to ourselves. Just like PC’s, we also have very precious and limited
resources. To maintain a balance in life we need to allocate those finite
resources effectively. At times this means knowing what to maximize and give
full attention to, and knowing what others areas to minimize. And, all the
while being able to shift and balance sudden needs and responsibilities.
Anything in life that becomes an addiction or obsession depletes our ability to
do this. These dysfunctions rob precious resources needed to balance other
areas in life.
Here are a few
things to consider to help you maintain a needed balance in your life!
Do you have an addiction
or obsession? If so, please stop living in denial and get some help. Don’t be
too proud or stubborn to get the professional help you need right away. Don’t
jeopardize all you have achieved or will achieve by continuing to live like a
slave to something that has gotten out of control. Also, confide in a friend or
loved one and ask them to help you through the process of breaking this
destructive habit or lifestyle.
Are you on the verge of becoming a workaholic? Take a number of
scheduled breaks during the day and clear your mind. During these breaks, spend
a few minutes to think about enjoyable activities away from the work
environment. The mind is like a battery and needs to be renewed to remain
highly “charged” and able to focus effectively. Take your scheduled lunch break
to recharge your mind. Take a walk or short drive to change environments for a
while. Don’t eat at your desk when you are supposed to be on a lunch break. It
is counterproductive and is a warning sign of possible meltdown if changes are
not made. You will be much more productive if you refresh your mind and
take scheduled breaks during the day.
Another important way to
nurture your personal resources is to take a vacation regularly. This is not
only important annually but on a weekly basis! More and more physicians and professionals
are emphasizing the tremendous importance of taking at least one day off every
week. Again, the human mind and body needs a period of rest and relaxation!
About a year ago a friend of mine told me had hadn’t taken a vacation in 3
years. I thought…”who are you trying to impress!” Learn to become aware of your
body’s warning signs of stress. These
may include a tense jaw, stiff neck, headache, or the feeling of being
overwhelmed. When any of these signs begin to occur, its time for an immediate break!
Then ask yourself some questions. Think about the possible root cause of the
stress. Are there any small tasks you are holding on to that you can delegate?
Are you making more out of an obstacle or problem than is really there?
Is there another co-worker with the expertise available to help? Are you
feeling stressed out because of time restraints or the responsibility of too
many tasks? Think the situation through…you will see there are always
some good answers. The worst thing you can do is panic or overreact.
Get into a weekly habit of communing with mother
earth! This beautiful creation exists for a reason and spending time outdoors
is therapeutic. Dr. Andrew Weil promotes walking over jogging and suggests 45
minutes of walking at least 5 days a week. So take a long walk regularly, work
in the yard, play some sports with the family. In other words, get more active
and step away from the sedentary lifestyle too many of us are now in due to
work environments, television and the Internet. This has mental as well as
physical benefits. As Stephen Covey reminds us, it is important to take the
time to “sharpen the saw”.
Remember, your personal
resources are limited and precious. To achieve the things you desire and to maintain them, you must live a life in balance with your needs and responsibilities. Personal leaders
search deep within themselves and are
honest about their strengths and weaknesses. They learn to establish their
priorities and say “no” to unimportant tasks. They know they must get
professional help when they become aware of an addiction or controlling
obsession in their life. Just like an unbalanced automobile tire can cause
uneven wear and a blowout, a neglected or denied personal dysfunction can cause
a blowout in your life! As leadership author and consultant Paul Thornton
states it, “Be the Leader, make the difference”.
Comments to: editor@leadingtoday.org
To see all Greg’s
articles click here.
About the author:
Greg
has over 25 years of sales and marketing experience within the electrical
manufacturing industry. Some of his positions have included being a National
Sales Manager, National Marketing Manager and Regional Sales Manager. He also has an extensive 35 years experience
in public speaking and has written articles for various publications. Greg has
a Master of Arts degree in Leadership from Bellevue University, where he has
served as an adjunct professor. He is the founder of weLEAD Incorporated, a
nonprofit organization chartered to promote personal and organizational
leadership. Greg's personal site is located at http://www.greglthomas.info