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The Twelve Principles of Personal Leadership

Principle #1 – The Right Visionary Goals – Part 2

-One Leader’s Perspective

By Greg L. Thomas

What happens when you fail to meet a goal? Everyone experiences failure and disappointment in their life. The difference is that some people don't quit and are willing to learn from their failures. Failure isn't simply a lack of succeeding, rather it's a lack of ever trying to succeed. What happens when you fail to meet a goal and how should you respond? To read part 1 of this article, please click here.

My question is, how do you know you really failed? How do you define failure? Again, I would like to quote from the book I mentioned earlier, titled "Keeping Pace." Dr. Fitzgerald wrote another thought provoking article entitled, "How to be a Failure." On page 9 he writes, "Failure is always relative to perspective. There is an old Norwegian tale about a fisherman who with his two sons went out on a daily fishing run. The catch was good, but by mid afternoon a sudden storm blotted out the shoreline, leaving the men groping for the direction of home. Meanwhile a fire broke out in the kitchen of their rustic cottage. Before it could be extinguished the fire had destroyed the family’s earthly possessions.

Finally, the father and his sons were able to row their boat ashore. The man’s wife was waiting to tell him the tragic news of the fire. "Carl, the fire has destroyed everything," she said tearfully. "We have nothing left!" But Carl was unmoved by the news. "Didn't you hear me," she asked, "the house is gone." "Yes, I hear you," replied Carl, "but a few hours ago we were lost at sea: for hours I thought we would perish. Then something happened. I saw a dim yellow glow in the distance. It grew larger and larger. We turned our boat toward the light. The same blaze which destroyed our home, was the light which saved our lives."

What Is REAL Failure?

I find this to be an interesting story. Mr. Fitzgerald continues in this article, "Little commentary is needed on the lesson of that story. Failure is often success when seen from a different point of view. History is full of this kind of thing. Columbus, looking for a new route to India, failed on his intended mission, but unintentionally opened up a new world. In 1872, a severe hot spell in California shriveled up a farmer's entire grape crop. He sent his dried up grapes to a grocer who advertised them as Peruvian delicacies. They sold at a good price. And we have been eating raisins ever since. Failure is largely determined by your point of view. It is almost impossible to think of anything no matter how bad, which doesn't have some good in it, if you look for it."

And indeed that is a very important point made by Mr. Fitzgerald in his article. So what happens when you fail to meet a goal? It just may be a stepping stone to success in another direction. We have several options when this happens. The first option, obviously, is to keep trying...to reestablish the goal with increased commitment. The second option is to modify what we originally desired. Ask yourself whether that goal was really important to you. Is the goal aligned with our personal mission statement? If you feel it is, keep trying, go forward, and don't look back with regrets. Remember, it has become history and is now in the past. We can't change the past. You and I can only change our tomorrows. We can become masters of our own destiny by doing something today that will change tomorrow's outcome, but we can't do anything about yesterday. The third option we have is to eliminate the goal entirely. Don't become discouraged if you decide to change or eliminate a goal. Instead, much like Mr. Fitzgerald wrote in his article, look at other possibilities that may have been created in the process. Think of the lessons you learned. Reflect on a few important things you did achieve. Meditate on the personal and individual growth you were able to develop in the process of reaching out toward that goal. But by no means look at yourself as a failure! Never forget that failure is often success when seen from a different point of view.

We are in large part masters of our own destiny, but we are also subject to unforeseen circumstances. Time and chance can prevent or delay us from achieving some of our major goals. There are often situations in life which are beyond our control. It may be a personal tragedy or you may experience a period of depression. Winston Churchill sometimes suffered from deep depression, yet his bulldog determination is legendry. It may be a natural tragedy, or a personal handicap. You may be faced with the death of a loved one or be in the midst of a difficult personal relationship with another. When these tragedies or events happen, they are clearly "time and chance" circumstances that may prevent or delay us from achieving a goal! Don't give up, but go forward and keep trying to accomplish your goals. Allow yourself a period of time to naturally mourn or grieve over personal tragedy. Then redouble your efforts to successfully achieve your goals. Also, remember to be patient with yourself. Good things, like fine wine, take time and patience.

Insights Into Goal Setting

How we can turn our written visionary goals into achievement? At this point, we have written down several goals using the outline I described earlier in Part 1. Now that we have committed them to writing, what are the insights that you and I need to understand in order to transform these goals into a personal accomplishment? The nine following insights I will now mention are how you should adjust your thinking toward goal setting.

Insight #1 is the need to acknowledge that we are absolutely responsible for our own success. Success requires action and sincere effort on our part, not just mere words. We need to become pro-active in our lives, and stop making so many "some day" promises to ourselves! Too many people limit their potential by blaming their lack of effort on everyone but themselves. They want to be victims and blame their parents, or their school, or their environment. Diligent effort and a sense of purpose can create opportunities for you. Use daily opportunities to march through the doors of personal growth. Here's a simple phrase to repeat, "If it is to be, it’s up to me." Yes, there will be the times when everything seems to be going wrong. If we are fortunate, our friends and loved ones will encourage, motivate, and comfort us during our "dark" moments! It’s a great feeling to have loved ones we can count on. But in essence, absolute responsibility for our own success really depends on us, and only marginally depends on others or "time and chance” circumstances.

Insight #2 is to accept the certainty that there is not now, nor ever will be enough time to do all the worthwhile things you want to do in your life. Now that may not sound like a new revelation, but let me assure you that many people are continually frustrated because they refuse to accept this fact. Think about all the books you want to read, and all the places you'd like to visit and all the thrills you would like to experience! There simply isn’t time to do it all or experience it all. This is a fact of life, and highlights why it is so important to prioritize our greatest desires. When we prioritize our desires and learn to say “no” to our unessential or unimportant needs, we are well on our way toward a greater degree of happiness. That's also why I believe we should not write down more than three or four major goals at any one time.

Insight #3 is to take control of your life by providing yourself with more useful time. A small amount of time each day can equal a tremendous number of valuable hours redeemed. Let me give you an example. If you were to find ways within each day to redirect simply 15 minutes, how much time during the next year do you think you would be able to dedicate or redirect for items of a higher priority? Perhaps you want to achieve some short-term goals but can’t seem to find the time to get started. If you were to find a way to save 15 minutes each day... you could create 2 and 1/4 working weeks per year extra! Yes, I said...two and a quarter working weeks per year extra! Saving 15 minutes per day will equal over 91 extra waking hours during the next year! How about 30 minutes a day? If you could find a way to condense something you are doing now to save 30 minutes a day, you would claim 4 1/2 working weeks per year extra. This is over one month of time or 1/12th of an entire year! If we could find a way to reduce or eliminate unproductive activities that we are now doing, to set aside this extra time to work on our goals, we could create many additional working weeks per year. This certainly is a major way to turn our attention toward accomplishing our heartfelt goals. Remember, just a small daily savings of time of can result in hundreds of hours of precious time to reinvest! Organize your life, and manage your usage of time. Sit down and list all the activities you are doing each day to analyze the valuable moments you are spending. Where can you redirect and reinvest your time?

Think of all the time that we could save and re-direct. Perhaps we are spending too much time on a particular habit or hobby we have formed over the years. We all have daily activities we could condense. Chances are we have developed daily activities that may no longer be of any real importance to us or anyone else! As human beings we tend to form ineffective habits that become great "time wasters." Time management is not just watching a clock, or counting minutes, or turning calendar pages. Time management is about controlling our lives more effectively instead of allowing external events to control us. Effectiveness is the result of doing important things right. We should not only want to be efficient, but we should also want to develop the most effective usage of our time! Ask yourselves this question often: "Is what I am doing right now the most effective use of my time?"

How can you better organize your time? As I mentioned earlier, there just isn't enough time for us to do all the things we want to accomplish. How effectively we use our time basically boils down to recognizing 2 different lifestyle activities. The first type is what I call "HIPAYS" activities. These are high payoff activities that are directly related to our goals. They are activities that we can't delegate or ask someone else to do for us. Quite often they are activities that are rather unpleasant and usually are higher risk or more difficult activities. On the other hand, all of us also have a second type of lifestyle activity I call “LOPAYS”. These are low payoff activities usually not related to our goals. These are activities that we may feel are important, but they really offer us little in return. These are often activities that are not related to our goals. They are comfortable, oftentimes uncreative, and perhaps trivial. They typically have simply become a routine in our lives. They often are activities that present no challenge or risk whatsoever. Many of these LOPAYS are habits we have acquired over the years which now serve no real purpose. Here's the way to focus more intently on your goals. Begin to eliminate some of these low payoff routines. We can do this by learning to say "no," to unimportant or unproductive activities. We also need to mentally separate our LOPAYS from the HIPAYS. High payoff activities should be most important to us, activities that are related to our jobs, to our families, and to our goals. Learn to say “no”, and don’t feel guilty for setting priorities in your life.

Here's an interesting philosophy for you to think about..."people without goals are often used by people who have them."

Think about this deeply and you will discover it is true.

People who have direction in life, those who have goals, and who are deeply motivated with purpose in their lives, are the ones who lead the masses of people who have no goals or real direction! It’s the leader and follower principle. In almost any society, you will find that the goal setters such as entrepreneurs, political, military, and religious leaders are the "movers and shakers" of any society.

Insight #4 is to acknowledge each day as a single gift and prioritize each one. Life is precious and we only have a certain amount of time every day. Begin to take steps today to make your day more effective and productive. We often spend too much time in motion and not enough in action. This is usually caused by a lack of organization. Start out each day with a "to-do" list of all the events and activities you want to accomplish. If you’re a busy business person, a "to-do" list is a must! Place your day’s activities on this list in order of importance beginning with the most important as item number one, the second most important as number two, etc. There are two different but effective approaches to accomplishing the items on this list each day according to your personality. One method is to begin with the first item on the list and work downward. This insures that you complete the most important activities on the top of the list. The second approach is especially effective for those who procrastinate. With this method you complete the most difficult activity first, followed by next most difficult, etc. Depending on your temperament, one of these methods will work for you. Set micro goals to accomplish a certain number of activities before lunch, or before your morning break. Then reward yourself when you reach these goals with a beverage, snack or other personal incentive.

Insight #5 is to develop a deep sense of personal commitment. Do you remember the story of Hernando Cortez, the famous Spanish explorer? He and his men landed in Veracruz beach in the year 1519. When he landed on the beach, he had 11 ships, 16 horses, 14 cannons, and 550 men. He also had a very difficult long term goal that would require tremendous commitment. He wanted to conquer the Aztec nation, confiscate their gold, and convert them to Christianity. Now an interesting reaction occurred from his men when he mentioned this goal! They thought he was insane and the attempt would be suicidal on their part. He quickly found out his men didn't have the same deep sense of commitment to the same goal he had. They didn't at all share Hernando's goal or commitment. So what did Cortez do? His personal commitment was so great, he torched all their ships! When retreat to Spain was no longer possible, he said, "here's our game plan, and here's how we are going to make this work”. I don’t necessarily agree with Hernando’s goal or his method to force his men into making a commitment. Yet, history reveals to us his total commitment to his goals and how this commitment enabled him to achieve it. He wasn't about to turn back or give up simple because the odds seemed insurmountable. He didn't look at the logistical problems as insurmountable obstacles; he looked upon these problems as exciting challenges! Right or wrong, he had a deep sense of total unswerving commitment... a feeling of destiny to reach his goals.

Winston Churchill was also a man of great personal commitment! In the 1940's the Nazis had established a goal of conquering England in two months. That lofty goal was basically thwarted by the commitment and determination of one stubborn charismatic man... Winston Churchill. He had a special message engraved in a brass plaque on his desk in London. Every day he would look at the declaration, he would read it, and he deeply believed in this major goal. He expected victory over Germany. The special message, referring to the House of Parliament, said:

"Please understand that there is no depression in this house, and we are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist."

Winston Churchill had such a deep level of commitment, he wasn't about to accept defeat. He didn't even believe in the possibility of defeat. By his personal beliefs, inner strength and dedication, he motivated and prodded himself onward even through the darkest days of the war. Churchill continued a personal sense of deep commitment even when other nations expected Britain to fail and be conquered! He put an intense amount of daily energy toward achieving his goal of complete success over Nazi Germany, one step… and one day at a time. He also had a certain sense of destiny and commitment toward achieving his goals. That my friends, is the kind of determination, the kind of drive, the kind of resourcefulness, you and I need to achieve our goals!

We too need to have a tremendous and enduring sense of commitment. Like Churchill, we need to have supreme confidence and act as though we cannot fail. We need to muster the ongoing commitment to complete what we have started. Don't permit yourself to become a defeatist. Don't focus on the problems in life, but focus on possible solutions. Remember to look at all problems as opportunities and challenges. When one door closes another one opens.

Here's a minor behavior modification you should immediately adopt. Forget, and eliminate the use of the word "try." I'm amazed at how often in the business world I hear the word "try" spoken. People often say "I'll try to get it done, or I'll try to do this, or I'll try to do that." What they really mean is that this is a low priority item for them, and it will get very little effort, if any at all! If you want to be more productive in your life, stop being noncommittal by using this word. Decide that you are either going to do something… or you're not! Either decide you are going to make a commitment to get something done, or simply decide it is not worth doing at all. The very word "try" is an indication it is a LOPAYS. If it is important to a loved one, or your employer then certainly do it anyway. But, if it is not, consider declining the request and saying “no”. I encourage you to eliminate the word “try” from your vocabulary. Whenever you make a commitment, promise yourself success, and dedicate the required time to get it done.

Insight #6 is understanding the process of making a "right decision”. It is true that in moral or ethical dilemmas there is often a clear principle of right or wrong. Yet, in many areas of life, we must face the fact there may be more than just one "right" decision. When confronted with a problem or obstacle, we should learn to make a good solid decision based on what we know and the information we have. Then we need to make it the right decision! Allow me to explain. Many people feel the answer to every problem is either "black or white." To some folks, every answer is either right or wrong, good or bad, black or white. Again, while this is usually true concerning moral and ethical decisions, other areas of life require a broader perspective. With almost any decision we face, there are often many possible solutions we can develop into good decisions. You and I are faced with many daily decisions. Rather than face these decisions with a narrow or single "right or wrong" philosophy, there may be many potentially sound decisions you could make! With effort, time and commitment we can make a good decision into a right decision. Let me repeat...In most cases there is no such thing as only one right decision. Learn to make a good decision, and then to make it the right decision.

Former President Eisenhower once said, "A wrong decision is better than indecision." Why? Because when we make a wrong decision, at least we have made a decision. And with commitment and greater understanding, we can change a wrong decision into a right decision. But if we are indecisive, we waste valuable time. Time is one of our most precious resources and it will often make decisions for us if we are unwilling! If we slowly evolve from indecision into finally making a decision, and that decision is wrong, there is typically not enough time to change it, or modify it, to make it work. What are the steps to make a right decision? First, when we are confronted with a decision that we must make, gather all the facts, talk to others who are knowledgeable about the subject. Get all the input and counsel that you can from a variety of sources and listen to others. Next, armed with all of this information, make a good sound decision. Finally, invest the time and commitment needed to make this good decision into the right decision.

Insight #7 is to appreciate and use humor everyday in your life. I'm amazed at the number of people I meet who seem to have lost the ability to express humor in their lives! Sadly, all the pressures and complexities of our 21^st century has made many us anal retentive. If we are going to remain sane, and have a balanced life, we must be able to laugh at life’s foibles and ourselves. If we want to achieve our goals and enjoy them in the process, we must be able to chuckle at the absurdities of life. Do you fully realize the therapeutic and healthy value of expressing humor? Have you learned the importance of relaxation and a good snicker? I will discuss more of these important traits in principle #3 when our subject is on a healthy lifestyle. I'm reminded of a statement Ronald Reagan made after he was shot during an attempted assassination. The President of the United States while wounded, spotted his worried wife in the hospital. The wound was more serious than originally reported and life threatening. President Reagan looked up at his wife and said, "Honey, I forgot to duck". No matter how you feel about him politically, Ronald Reagan knew how to have a good chuckle, and how to laugh at himself in any circumstance. He was a man who learned to use humor in his daily life. He also is reputed to have said to his doctors that same day, "I hope you are all Republicans!" The lesson here is that a good sense of humor helps us to keep life's trials in proper "perspective" and enables us to release tension in stressful situations.

Charley Plumb was a P.O.W. in Vietnam. He spent 2,103 days as a prisoner in unbelievable circumstances. He endured great personal humiliation and torture at the hand of an enemy. He feels he was able to survive because of a statement he saw scratched into a wall. The statement made him laugh and get above the frustration and pain. After all the trials and adversity, the torture, the pressures, the discouragement, he discovered that someone had written on the wall of his dark cell, "Smile, you’re on candid camera." Charlie learned to laugh at himself and at life's most distressing situations. He learned to laugh at things he couldn't immediately change. We can make life much more productive and fulfilling if we too take this approach! While we are on the subject of joy, remember to reward yourself for your accomplishments.

Insight #8 is that we need to stay focused on our goals. There is an old fable that makes a good point about the importance of focused thinking. The fable goes like this: There was a wise and aged archer who was training 2 young warriors in his craft. High above them in a tree was the target. Each young warrior took an arrow from his quiver, and readied his bow at the target up in the tree. At this point, the old teacher, a crafty and seasoned archer asked his students to describe everything they could see. The first archer said, “I see the sky, I see clouds, the tree, leaves, branches and the target." The wise old archer said, "Young man, put down your bow." The second archer said, "I see only the target." He was told to shoot, and his arrow struck the center of the target! The same principle applies to you and I as we strive to hit our targeted goals. We must first focus our thinking before we can accurately hit our targets and goals. We live in a technological age with many constant distractions. Remember that every new hobby or “toy” we purchase will consume more of our time and energies. The modern media complex is ready and able to gobble up tremendous amounts of our time and the result is a lack of focus. A small amount of television time or magazine reading can be relaxing and beneficial, especially when we are selective in what we observe. However, television and magazines can easily become great time wasters and frankly much of it is mindless babble.

Insight #9 is to remember what you truly value! One dictionary definition of the word "value" is to "rate at a certain price." How do standards, ethics, and scruples harmonize with your daily lifestyle? As human beings we are often motivated by the desire to be accepted, respected, and needed by others. Teenagers often have difficulty balancing the values they have been taught against their need to be accepted by their peers. How about you? The question we need to ask ourselves is who do we want to be associated with? Who do we want to respect us? Not everyone we associate with is going to respect us or accept us! We can't please everybody and we shouldn’t try to. Which people in your life are most important? Do you strive to only please yourself, or your loved ones, your friends, or your associates? Remember that trying to please everyone is very costly. You can't please everyone unless you’re willing to sacrifice certain values and priorities! Only you can decide who and what is really important to you! If you stand for nothing you will fall for anything. You need to decide which principles are most important in your life. By doing this, some people will not be pleased to associate with you any longer. Some will slander you behind your back and try to undermine what you do or say. You will probably lose the respect of some. But, attempting to be accepted by everyone is very costly and usually requires two different sets of standards and values. Don't become like the character in an old Grocho Marx skit who stated, "Those are my principles, if you don't like those I have others!" Remember that life becomes truly fulfilling when our goals are an extension of our basic values and mission statement.

I encourage you to choose the most important things in life to you! Focus your thinking in the HIPAYS and on the very people who are most important in your life. You can choose to affect your own destiny. Establish right visionary goals. Not by just dreaming about them, but by committing them to writing. Take a certain amount of time each day to dedicate toward the achievement of your goals. Create long-term and short-term goals. Understand that our goals are going to change throughout our life. There will be times when you decide to change or eliminate your goals. There will be goals that you and I cannot achieve. Unfortunately, time and circumstance may prevent us from achieving important goals we have established.

Turn your goals into action by having a deep continuous sense of commitment. Develop a "can-do" attitude, and act as though you cannot fail. Welcome and use humor in your life. Don't take yourself too seriously and reward yourself for your accomplishments. Refine your decision making process. Learn to make good solid decisions. Then work to make a good decision into a right decision. Focus your thinking on HIPAYS and to learn to say "no" to unproductive activities. Make your life more effective by better use and organization of time.

Establishing the right visionary goals will change your life. Leaders are goal setters and goal accomplishers!

Get started right now…

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About the author:

Greg has an extensive thirty-five years experience in public speaking and has spoken to hundreds of audiences worldwide. Greg has a Master of Arts degree in Leadership from Bellevue University, where he also has served as an adjunct professor teaching courses in business management and leadership since 2002. His first book, 52 Leadership Tips (That Will Change How You Lead Others) was published in 2006 by WingSpan Press. His second book, Making Life's Puzzle Pieces Fit was published in March 2009. Both are available at amazon.com. Greg is also the president of Leadership Excellence, Ltd and a Managing Partner of the Leadership Management Institute. Leadership Excellence, Ltd. effectively builds individuals and organizations to reach their highest potential through enhanced productivity and personal development using a number of proven programs. He is also the president and founder of weLEAD Incorporated.