weLEAD Online Magazine

leadingtoday.org

The Twelve Principles of Personal Leadership

Principle #2 – Continuous Education (Part 2)

-One Leader’s Perspective

By Greg L. Thomas

Decorative%2002 Many folks mistakenly believe that the achievement of a formal education is the end of their primary education. Nothing could be further from the truth, especially for those who desire to lead others! Continuing informal education needs to literally become a part of your daily lifestyle. Too many people allow the "rut" of their daily existence to stunt any further education in their lives. They never expand their world or their knowledge of it. Their free time becomes primarily involved in entertainment rather than personal enlightenment or self-development. To read part 1 of this article, please click here!

Now...please don't misunderstand...we all need generous amounts of recreation and entertainment to enjoy a balanced life. These enjoyable and refreshing activities are important needs! A later principle of personal leadership will discuss the absolute need for recreation to have a balanced and productive mind. However, many adults have allowed their minds to stagnate to the point of intellectual numbness. The human mind can be set on "auto pilot" and will no longer want to stretch or expand. Instead it will just desire to vegetate and drift if we are not careful. Millions of individuals now go through life allowing their opinions and values to be fed into their sedated minds by the modern media. Many come home day after day, and sit in front of a television for hours allowing a precious opportunity to learn and grow erode away. Don't allow this to happen to you! Again, there is nothing wrong with watching some television for relaxation or entertainment. It is how much we do so and why that is the question. Keep your mind sharp and expanding by being proactive in learning instead of reactive. Here are a few important ways to keep your mind active and alert. Remember...a truly informed person is a better decision maker and is better prepared for success.

Begin to read widely. There is an old saying...an unread book is only a block of paper. A person who can read and doesn't is no better off than one who can't. Reading is educational, relaxing, and mind expanding. Books, newspapers, and magazines should be a significant part of our lifestyle. Use these valuable tools to teach yourself about history, literature, the sciences, responsible living...the list is endless. Read a variety of subjects that catch your interest, not just fiction or novels. Make reading a passion in your life. Begin to learn about all of those things you always wanted to but never had the time. This activity is so important, you should devote at least 1/2 hour a day to reading. If your lifestyle is such that this is impossible or if you are handicapped, perhaps the use of cassette tapes or CD’s can help to fill this need. There are now CD’s or cassette tapes for almost any area of interest including world news, languages, history and novels. You can now expand your mind while commuting, dressing for the day, relaxing at home or at lunch-time. And don't think that you need to spend lots of money to do this! The Internet or your local library probably has access to hundreds of these tapes for you to download or borrow “free of charge”. Learn to use the resources of your local library or the Internet. Take time out from your busy schedule to use these modern resources often. At the local library, ask the personnel to show you how to locate information either in the building or on their website. Remember, they can order other books or materials from the larger branches just for you.

I am reminded of a story reputed to have happened between Albert Einstein and a colleague. The colleague asked Einstein his telephone number! Albert proceeded to open a phone book and look up his own phone number. His colleague was amazed and said, "Albert you are considered a genius and one of the greatest minds of the 20^th century. Why are you looking for your telephone number in the phone book?" Einstein is reputed to have replied, "I never memorize anything I can find in a book." The moral of this story is that Einstein had learned the value of knowing where to find information rather than just memorizing it.

You need to keep your mind sharp and alert by being keenly aware of the world around you. If you do this you will form your own opinions rather than having the media tell you what you are supposed to believe. When you are growing and aware of the world around you, it guides one to be proactive and in control of our own decisions. When we allow our minds to coast and be informed by talking heads, we are no longer really living, we are just being lived by others. Watch the daily news to learn what’s occurring in this vast world of ours. Remember, our world is much bigger that the community and surroundings we live in. Read a daily newspaper or watch a 1/2 hour world news program once a day. Keep informed and abreast of world events. As a citizen of the world you need to be concerned and know what’s happening, because sooner or later it may affect your lifestyle or standard of living.

Here's another activity I strongly encourage you to consider. Why not join or start a local speech club in your community? This is a great way to sharpen your talents, meet new people and enrich your life. There is a major reason I encourage you to do this. A speech club will help you to master one of the most valuable traits any person can acquire and one that leaders absolutely need! This is the ability to effectively communicate with others and in groups. I don't mean speaking a language. Communication is a two-way process in which people listen, share ideas, feelings, needs and seek to gain a greater understanding of ideas and others.

Think for a moment how important this trait really is. How many jobs are lost, conflicts created and opportunities denied because of the inability to communicate well? What is the amount of creative talent untapped in others because a leader won’t listen to followers? How many marriages have been eroded because someone was not able to really communicate their feelings and ideas? How many people have misunderstood another's real needs because of a lack of communication? How many child rearing problems exist because of a lack of listening? I think you get the point. Most of mankind’s problems exist because we really don't make the serious effort or time to communicate with each other. When folks go to professional counselors for help to solve relationship problems, the professionals spend much of their time teaching people how to communicate in order to resolve personal conflicts.

Unfortunately, we were not naturally born with the ability to communicate well, especially in sensing the needs of others. It doesn't come by instinct or with a formal education. Animals have little need for this type of inter-personal communication. Most of what they know was acquired from instinct or in the earliest stages of animal life. Animals have brains to assist them in their survival. However, we humans have the need to grow far beyond instinct which can be extremely selfish. We have minds which were designed to transcend the limited ability of a mere physical brain.

In comparison to animals, we humans are born with limited instinct such as nursing and reflex reactions. We also were not born with an "owners manual" to program us to be immediately useful and effective. Many of the great religions were created to provide a manual for productive living because we simply lack any real purpose upon birth except for survival. As far as we know, our ability to robustly create, reason, design, invent and aspire to greatness are limited to we human beings on this planet! However, it is because we have this consciousness of mind that effective communication is so very important. I believe that the ability to communicate well is a developed trait which requires much effort and practice for most of us. Allow me to take a few minutes to provide you with a few “tips” on how to increase effective communication.

Remember...your positive relationships with your spouse, children, relatives, friends, employer and co-workers rests on your ability to communicate well!

1) Be approachable and friendly. Show others that you are really interested in what they have to say. Stop what you are doing to focus on what they are saying. Look into their eyes to reveal that you are concentrating on what is being said. Smile and give a positive feeling of acknowledgement in the way you respond. Be an active listener and ask some questions if you don’t understand what is being stated. Don’t assume you know or guess…

2) Be personable and animated in your response. Allow others to finish their remarks before you speak. Don't cut them off in mid-sentence. Don't think about what you are going to say while they are still speaking to you. When you respond, show life and animation in your comments. Use humor when appropriate especially if there is a need to reduce tension.

Ask questions if you don't understand something. Don't just assume you understand a remark which is unclear. Asking questions shows others you are listening and trying to understand. That

3) Show positive body language. Express relaxed and concerned gestures. Kinesics is the study of communication through body movement. We may be able to hide our feelings though what we say, but they are usually revealed through our body language. Actions such as lowering our head in our hand, rolling our eyes, folding our arms or looking into space may contradict the words we are saying. Analyze the gestures you make during conversation. Train yourself to eliminate the "I don't really care or agree" gestures and replace them with an "I'm really interested" body language.

4) Practice flexibility and tact. No one likes to talk to someone who is dogmatic about everything and insensitive to other people’s feelings. Be "open minded" to other ideas and thoughts. Avoid the use of "gunpowder words" like you always, never, all, and everytime. Replace these exaggerated words with others like many, often, seldom or usually. Don't come across as arrogant, or a know-it-all because you will lose respect and credibility.

If you disagree with a statement, demonstrate your disapproval with grace and respect for the person. It is possible to disagree without being harsh or disagreeable. Politeness and respect toward others is essential to effective two-way conversation. The key is to be open, honest and to be sure you don’t make your disagreement a personal attack.

5) Express genuine empathy and concern for others. Don't be condescending or act superior to other people. When someone approaches you with a problem, show a genuine attitude of concern. Listen to them, patiently hear them out and offer support. If appropriate, also offer your insight and advice. Let them know their problems are of concern to you. Don't hesitate to use sincere phrases like, "I'm sorry to hear that" or "is there anything I can do to help"? Thinking sympathetically is not the same as acting and speaking sympathetically! The art of effective communication is to “build bridges” to understand one another, not to build walls of isolation. Here are a couple of humorous examples.

American sardonic writer Dorothy Parker was once asked by an annoying guest at a party if she had ever had her ears pierced,

Parker replied, "No, but I have often had them bored."

I believe it was Grocho Marx (in one of his comedy skits) who once told a dinner host upon leaving their home, “I have truly had a wonderful evening… but this wasn’t it!”

I hope you find these 5 “tips” to increase effective communication helpful!

Meeting%2017 How about when correcting others? This is an unpleasant task which all leaders must do occasionally. Here's how to do it properly...

Begin by complimenting the individual, by telling the person about the things they are doing right. Openly acknowledge and express how pleased you are about the good things they do. Show appreciation for the ways they contribute to others. Give them specific examples of some things they do well, not vague generalities.

Next, follow this praise with a few sentences of brief correction. Be calm and reasoned. Express that you are disappointed in their actions and not in them. Explain exactly what you desire to see in the future, and why it is important. Lastly, end your conversation by showing more appreciation and encouragement for the fine things they do. Explain that you have confidence in them to accomplish and grow even more! Make sure you end the discussion on a positive note, not after a confrontation. Obviously, if the only time you spend talking with people is to correct them, you will get severe resistance from them leading to bitterness. Why? Because you have lost trust and credibility with them. When others see you daily providing encouragement and praise toward them, it is easier and more effective when you do need to correct them.

If you don’t do this perfectly or struggle with this task, welcome to the club! As I mentioned earlier, we not only need formal "book learning", we need to develop leadership, experience and personality development skills. These traits cannot be taught by a formal education or reading a book. They must be acquired by life experience and reinforced by a desire for personal excellence!

I earlier mentioned in Part 1 of this principle the valuable two "R's" missing from today’s formal educational systems. These valuable traits are not missing because of a fault in modern education alone. After all, our educational institutions are just a reflection of the rest of our society and culture! I would now like to discuss these two traits in greater detail. As I do, ask yourself how well you apply these essential characteristics in your life.

The first missing "R" is reasoning...the ability to put information together and make a reasoned decision. A reasoned decision is one that contemplates both the positive and negative consequences of an action.

Much of our educational system still stresses Plato’s emphasis on intellectual absorption of information. However, in an increasingly complex world, this intellectual knowledge is vastly limited without the development of logical decision-making skills and an understanding of the "cause and effect" principle.

For example, not enough importance is being placed in young people’s minds regarding the long-term effects of their decision making! Greater stress must be placed on realizing the consequences of poor decision making. We are no longer teaching the "cause and effect" principle which governs everyone’s life. For every cause there is an effect! As a society, we are falsely teaching that we can avoid the effects of bad decision making by covering or masking the causes. This lack of sound reasoning is one of the major causes for increased drug usage, unwanted pregnancy and despondency among young people today. Young people are being lied to today, by a dysfunctional culture that now tells them a government program will solve their problems, or perhaps “redefining” a term or traditional institution will make everything come out all right!

The problem is that we are no longer stressing the essential trait of reasoning at virtually any level of education. Most of our families, schools and religious institutions are falling far short of their purpose and role in our complex modern world. Our modern Western governments are spending so much money and energy treating the effects of deep social and personal problems; we have ignored the causes of these problems.

How about you? Have you also been caught up in this environment? Do you make decisions in your business or family that seem to come back and boomerang upon you? Do you decide things only to have them go boom, and live with unintended consequences? The reason may be because you never really learned the skill of reasoning and have been making decisions based on a reaction or emotion. To prepare to lead others, we must learn to reason soundly and this requires a gathering of valid facts and serious contemplation of the consequences of our decisions. A personal study of systems theory may help you to see why more clearly.

The 2nd "R" is also rapidly declining in both formal education institutions and within our culture today. This trait goes hand in hand with reasoning. It is responsibility. The lack of taking personal responsibility for one’s actions is a major cause of suffering and failure in our world today. From the earliest ages of youth, we now say to people...you are not responsible for your own conduct or actions. It's your parent’s fault, or your doctor’s fault, or your employer’s fault, or your teacher’s fault, or your religious leader’s fault, or your environment...but it's not really your fault! This twisted philosophy now affects almost every aspect of our judicial and social institutions like a cancer. What this distorted philosophy has failed to realize is that it teaches helplessness and hopelessness. It says in effect that your actions are out of your control, your life and actions are manipulated and controlled by others. This belief is false and dangerous. To be successful and happy in life, you must accept responsibility for your own actions and decisions.

When you have the wisdom and courage to accept responsibility for your own actions, you are acknowledging control of your own life and destiny. Think about this fact...responsibility is not exclusively a moral or ethical principle. It is an act of self-discipline and the very meaning of the word education is to “be disciplined”. Yes, all of us have certainly been influenced by our past. Yes, our upbringing and peer groups have had a great influence on our personal development. However, to use negative life experiences as an excuse for our actions is self-defeating and deceptive. Don't sell yourself or your own abilities short! Stop the victimization “blame game” and start to take control of your thoughts and your life. We can't change yesterday, but what we do today can literally change our tomorrows. To be a great leader you must absolutely take responsibility for your conduct and actions… both good and bad!

In closing, let's review some of the things we have discussed in principle #2.

Education is really a two-step process in life. One step is our "formal" education which begins about age 4-5 and continues until we are an early adult. However, we also discussed how a complete education should become a lifelong process or quest for personal growth and self-improvement. Great leadership is the kind that changes the world in a positive way and leaves it a better place. Developing personal leadership prepares you to become a great leader and to sustain your ability to lead.

We reviewed the history of education with a special emphasis on the Western education. We learned that the roots of our modern system of sorting out individuals according to their intellectual abilities actually began in ancient Greece through the philosophy of Plato. It is debatable whether this was ever an effective system. It completely ignored the hidden potential that many individuals had and didn’t account for differences the way people learn. For example, the author of this article was in the half of his high school class that made the upper half possible! I did not blossom and learn to love learning until after I left high school.

It pays to receive a good formal education in today’s complex world. In our specialized society, college or technical training beyond high school is now a must. Depending on your skills and goals... college, vocational schooling or a trade school apprenticeship program may be your avenue to increased formal training.

You were encouraged to make education a vital part of your daily lifestyle. This included reading widely and extensively to learn about the world around you. This habit will help you to expand your personal interests and gain new resources. We focused on keeping current with the daily news and joining a local speech club to practice communicating more effectively in public.

We learned the 5 “tips” to increase effective communication. When used properly, they will help us to manage our ability to truly listen to others and express our thoughts clearly.

Sadly, our educational systems are now reflecting other disintegrating social structures like the home and our culture. This vacuum is causing an increased need to learn two additional “R’s” and make them a part of your character. These are reasoning and responsibility.

Press%20Conference%205 I hope you can see that continuing education is not only essential for you to achieve personal leadership but also to maintain it. Many thousands of people have acquired temporary success only to lose it all because of a lack of a complete education, especially the two “R’s”.

My final thought... a better definition of education is this...education is a lifelong quest, which includes your formal training. But it more importantly includes what you have learned from your informal life experiences, and your personal relationships with others. I encourage you to develop a complete education with the pursuit of excellence!

Our next article will begin the 3^rd principle of personal leadership. We will begin to discuss on the valuable principle of healthful living. Now that we know the importance of establishing the right visionary goals, and of a complete education, we need to develop a program to maximize our health. As the old saying goes...”Health is wealth, and if you have your health, you are the richest person in the world”!

Comments to: editor@leadingtoday.org

To see all Greg’s articles click here.

About the author:

Greg has an extensive thirty-five years experience in public speaking and has spoken to hundreds of audiences worldwide. Greg has a Master of Arts degree in Leadership from Bellevue University, where he also has served as an adjunct professor teaching courses in business management and leadership since 2002. His first book, 52 Leadership Tips (That Will Change How You Lead Others) was published in 2006 by WingSpan Press. His second book, Making Life's Puzzle Pieces Fit was published in March 2009. Both are available at amazon.com. Greg is also the president of Leadership Excellence, Ltd and a Managing Partner of the Leadership Management Institute. Leadership Excellence, Ltd. effectively builds individuals and organizations to reach their highest potential through enhanced productivity and personal development using a number of proven programs. He is also the president and founder of weLEAD Incorporated.