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Honesty,
Integrity and Communication
The Foundation of Trust.
By Jim Clemmer
"To be honest is to be real, genuine, authentic, and bona fide.
To be dishonest is to be partly feigned, forged, fake, or fictitious. Honesty
expresses both self-respect and respect for others. Dishonesty fully respects
neither oneself nor others. Honesty imbues lives with openness, reliability,
and candor; it expresses a disposition to live in the light. Dishonesty seeks
shade, cover, or concealment. It is a disposition to live partly in the
dark." — William J. Bennett, The Book
of Virtues
Seven-year-old first baseman, Tanner Munsey, fielded a ground ball
and tried to tag a runner going from first to second base. The umpire, Laura
Benson, called the runner out, but young Tanner immediately ran to her side and
said, "Ma'am, I didn't tag the runner." Umpire Benson reversed herself, sent the runner to second base, and Tanner's coach
gave him the game ball for his honesty. Two weeks later, Laura Benson was again
the umpire and Tanner was playing shortstop when a similar play occurred. This
time Benson ruled that Tanner had missed the tag on a runner going to third base,
and she called the runner safe. Tanner looked at Benson and, without saying a
word, tossed the ball to the catcher and returned to his position. Benson
sensed something was wrong. "Did you tag the runner?" she asked
Tanner. "Yes," he replied. Benson then called the runner out. The
opposing coaches protested until she explained what had happened two weeks
earlier. "If a kid is that honest," she said, "I have to give it
to him."
Honesty and integrity are key ingredients in developing trust.
Trust is a key element in establishing credibility. Our credibility is at the
center of our ability to influence others and provide strong leadership. In our
leadership development work we often ask participants to list the qualities of
the most effective leaders they have experienced in their family, school,
community, social, or organizational lives. Words like sincere, truthful,
trustworthy, reliable, principled, and genuine are usually on the list. These
characteristics are the hallmarks of strong leaders.
There's lots of evidence to support author Lance Secretan's belief that "we are suffering from truth
decay." In a financial management column on taking a loan to invest more
money in mutual funds, a former politician advised, "if your real estate
falls in value to the point where the home-equity loan is greater than the
worth of your house, you can always take a walk. Then it's the bank's
problem." How's that for honesty and integrity? Does he sound like someone
you could trust and believe? Little wonder his party was tossed out of office
at the next election amid scandals and crooked deals (they showed that
"political principles" really was an oxymoron). Every day we hear about, or personally experience, broken promises, cheating,
"shaving the truth," cutting corners, or failing to follow through.
That's why Mark Twain declared that "truth is more of a stranger than
fiction." He felt that many people regard truth as their most valuable
possession and this explained why they were most economical in its use. He
advised us to "always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish
the rest." Winston Churchill adds, "people
occasionally stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up and hurry off
as if nothing happened."
Honesty and integrity is a given in most conversations about
leadership values. But some people seem to feel it's something you can slip on
and off like clothing. They will speak of personal, professional, or business
behaviors as if different suits of honesty are put on according to the situation.
This shows "doing honesty" rather than being honest. It's no more
than putting on an honest act. People quickly see through it and reduce us to
our lowest level of honesty and integrity — our dirtiest clothes. Even more
importantly — which is the real me? How can changeable honesty ring true to me?
Our true character is often revealed by fear and greed. In times
of fear we often face great difficulty and disaster. Or we might have huge
opportunities for financial, career, power, or other big gains. How we deal
with both extremes when the stakes are high reveals our true selves. The
choices we make during those intense moments of truth exposes
the depth of our character. Do we "do our honesty and integrity
thing" when its convenient or just when we think
others are watching? Or are we an honest being who's eventually found out?
Parents and even managers will sometimes say, "don't let me
catch you doing that again." This often leads to lively games of
"catch me if you can." But honesty and integrity are developed from
the inside out. Abraham Lincoln explained it well in reflecting on his
approach, "I do the best I know how, the very best I can; and I mean to
keep on doing it to the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said
against me will not amount to anything. If the end brings me out all wrong, ten
angels swearing I was right would make no difference." Ringing true to me
means going beyond just what I say or do. It involves listening to what my
inner voice tells me about how I feel about what I've said or done.
One way to explore our inner level of true honesty and integrity
is look at how much we trust others. Since we see the world as we are, any feelings that people are basically dishonest and
can't be trusted may be revealing more about me than them. One of the hazards
of lying is not just that people wouldn't believe us,
it's also that we can't believe anyone else.
"Communications
help to keep people feeling included in and connected to the
organization...give people information, and do it again and again." —
William Bridges, Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change
Trust and
communication levels go together. Find out how high your organization or team
trust levels are. If they're low find out what's causing the problem. This may
be painful. The source of misunderstandings and mistrust is often in the
leaders' behavior.
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About
the author:
Jim
Clemmer is a bestselling author and internationally
acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat leader, and management team
developer on leadership, change, customer focus, culture, teams, and personal growth.
During the last 25 years he has delivered over two thousand customized keynote
presentations, workshops, and retreats. Jim's five international bestselling
books include The VIP Strategy, Firing
on All Cylinders, Pathways
to Performance, Growing the
Distance, and The
Leader's Digest. His web site is www.clemmer.net.