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Learning to Deal with the “Right Things”

-One Leader’s Perspective

By Greg L. Thomas

Burden One of the most difficult challenges of a leader is how to deal with issues and problems that we have little or no control over! I believe it is almost instinctive for many leaders to want to tackle problems with passion and zeal. We tend to like challenges and obstacles. We don’t like to be told we can’t do something. We don’t like to fail or feel like we are helpless to intervene in serious or important situations. Unfortunately, in real life there are problems we can’t solve. There are situations we should avoid and resist the instinct to become involved. I personally believe that we must subscribe to a basic life philosophy if we are to make the most of our leadership abilities and limited amount of time. This is especially true of our relationship with others and the world around us. Here is the philosophy…

“Some things, if left alone, will correct themselves.

Some things, no matter what we do will not be corrected.

Some things, if we try, can be made right”

1st I would like to discuss these three life principles and help us to come to a deeper understanding of our leadership role. This philosophy will guide us as to how best to direct our energies. The first part of the philosophy states, “Some things, if left alone, will correct themselves. Given enough time a lot of things correct themselves. History has a tendency to do this. For example, many religious leaders were considered criminals when they died. They are not considered criminals today! Many social reformers were scoffed at or imprisoned during their lifetimes. Some of their reforms have now compassionately become the norm in an enlightened society.

Forests, when devastated by fire or even man-made destruction, will heal themselves if left alone. First ground cover will return, taking advantage of the denuded landscape. Later underbrush will gain a foothold along with shrubs. Eventually trees will return. A river can clean itself of toxins and sea life return if we will stop polluting it and leave it alone. This is because the natural world has a way of correcting itself if left alone.

Sometimes we may see the faults and weaknesses in youngsters and there is a tendency to want to lecture or correct them for every flaw. We may foolishly think that we can “fix” them, but in reality they can only grow themselves. Usually time, experience and maturity will correct or balance these flaws in others without our constant interference. On occasion we have all been wronged and it is tempting to want to strike out or seek retribution when we are hurting. But seeking to harm others really doesn’t work and we only end up destroying our own peace of mind. If we get deeply involved in things that history, maturity or nature will correct, we may sap the time and energy needed to address things that can be made right with our effort and influence.

2nd The second part of the philosophy states, Some things, no matter what we do, will not be corrected. As a leader it is futile to waste precious time and resources on things that will remain the same no matter what we try to do! There is an old prayer that begins like this, “Lord, give me the grace to accept the things I can not change.” One example of this is brooding about the past. Wisdom should dictate that we accept the fact that the past stands as written and we can only influence the present and the future. Another thing that cannot be corrected is our own personal handicaps. They may be physical, emotional or intellectual but they will always be with us. Yes, we may learn to compensate for these traits or have others help us, but the handicaps remain. Some folks choose to live a life of seclusion or regret due to their own handicaps, but leaders learn to live with their limitations. Don’t live your life measuring your talents (or lack of them) against the abilities of others. This only engenders envy and regret. It is far more productive to appraise the assets we do have and use these assets to transcend any handicaps we may possess! Some things just can’t be changed and the wise leader moves on to other things.

A similar understanding holds true for the faults and weaknesses of others. We delude ourselves if we think we can change other people. We honestly can’t because they have their own minds and “free will”. There are a number of things we can do to influence them! We can be the right example. We can teach and mentor. Within reason we can point out their flaws and weaknesses in a loving and patient manner. But…they must make up their own mind to change, they must see the need for it, and they must be convicted of the need for change. We simply can’t do it for them or force them to modify their behavior without serious repercussions and reactions.

3rd The third part of the philosophy states, Some things, if we try, can be made right.” This is the area where leaders should give their primary energies. The second part of the old prayer mentioned earlier goes…”Give me the courage to change the things I can change”. This is the realm of real leadership. For example, we are all products of heredity. Through our genetic makeup we each have a broad parameter of abilities, talents and tendencies. Thankfully, within this parameter we have the marvelous opportunity to develop these skills and talents to a richer and more fulfilling potential. We also have the wonderful privilege of using these talents to help change the organizations where we work, the communities where we live, the places where we worship, and the families where we live.

This is the area where we can make our own choices rather than allow our future to be decided by time or chance…by default. Remember that time has a way of deciding things we refuse to decide for ourselves. It is a terrible mistake to allow chance to determine what our life can be or how it is lived. Is there an important business decision you have been putting off that needs to be made? Make that decision now! Is there a personal problem you need to confront and have been ignoring? Confront that problem now! Is there a past mistake you can correct and have been delaying because of pride? Correct that mistake now! Are there relationships that need to be mended or strengthened that you have avoided? Strengthen that relationship now! Don’t allow the process of time to make these decisions or alter your options. You probably won’t like the decision that it makes. There is no better time for action than right now!

Science reveals that the law of “cause and effect” is alive in the universe and that includes our lives. What we are tomorrow is determined by the choices we make today. Just like the present has roots in our past, the future will have roots in the present. This law called cause and effect is also neutral and is neither bad nor good. If we sow bad seeds we will someday reap a bad harvest. If we sow good seeds we will someday enjoy the positive benefits of making the right decision. It is important to remember that life does have a sort of “layaway plan”. Someday the decisions we make (or refuse to make) will come to harvest. In fact, even indecision over time becomes a way to make a decision. We either choose to decide and control our own options or time will make the decision for us. For a leader, to live is to choose…

In closing, we have looked at the three parts of a basic life philosophy. We can spend an inordinate amount of time trying to influence or change things that will correct themselves. But this is not very productive. We can also spend an inordinate amount of time trying to influence and change things that will not be corrected, but this is futile and frustrating. Or we can channel most of our energies and personal resources into influencing and changing things that can be make right or better. We only have so much time and zeal to focus on the truly important, the things that matter and where we can make a difference.

Choose wisely!

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About the author:

Greg has an extensive thirty-five years experience in public speaking and has spoken to hundreds of audiences worldwide. Greg has a Master of Arts degree in Leadership from Bellevue University, where he also has served as an adjunct professor teaching courses in business management and leadership since 2002. His first book, 52 Leadership Tips (That Will Change How You Lead Others) was published in 2006 by WingSpan Press. His second book, Making Life's Puzzle Pieces Fit was published in March 2009. Both are available at amazon.com. Greg is also the president of Leadership Excellence, Ltd and a Managing Partner of the Leadership Management Institute. Leadership Excellence, Ltd. effectively builds individuals and organizations to reach their highest potential through enhanced productivity and personal development using a number of proven programs. He is also the president and founder of weLEAD Incorporated.