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When
I was a child my uncle had a favorite saying. When things would go wrong he
would mutter, “My mother said there would be days like this”. Then he would
immediately opine…”but she never said there would be so many of them and they would all follow
one another!” Do you consider yourself a failure? Do you look at your past or
present achievements with a sense of disappointment? Have you attempted to be a
servant-leader only to feel your efforts have been in vain?
Perhaps
you have had goals or dreams that have not been fulfilled. Maybe you have lost
your zeal and enthusiasm about the future. Everyone goes through the valleys
and shadows of life. Many of the greatest leaders who ever lived experienced a
period of “exile” or despondency in their lifetime! Some days and seasons of
life are very good, and some days are far from good. It is certainly true that
when we feel we have “missed the mark” or failed, we should seriously examine
what we did wrong to learn from the experience. It is also true that “what we sow we shall
reap”. But before you consider yourself or others a failure, I would like to
give you a few things to think about.
Failure
is a strong word. It even sounds
harsh and judgmental. In the western world it is often applied to people in a
condescending way. It is also typically used in a way that emphasizes
permanence. When someone is designated a failure it is often implied they have
little value and the opportunity to change their situation is minimal. When an
event is called a failure it is often implied that the results were miserable
and unchangeable. But is this really the correct definition of this coarse
word? Is this the proper perspective
for a leader to have?
First
of all, a failure is relative to time. How do we know we have had a good
day? The answer is often relative to the passing of time. Sometimes we may
believe we have had an excellent day only to find out later that something else
was going on we didn’t know was occurring. When we analyze the day in its
entirety it turns out to be different than we first thought. On the other hand,
we have all had days that seemed to be bad. Maybe everything appeared to go
wrong or we may have had a big single event that turned the entire day into a
negative frame. Yet, as we look back at the events of that day it may have
turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us! Time turns a lot of failures
into successes. The first great American general was George Washington. But
early in the American Revolutionary War few would have called him adequate, let
alone great! He lost virtually every battle and skirmish against the British
troops. He and his men were demoralized and at times it appeared the war was
lost. Yet time proved these battles had just the right effect. The British resolve to keep the American colonies was
being diminished with each battle and with the loss of each British solder. It
turned out that winning battles was not as important as the resolve to continue
… no matter what the odds.
Time
transcended George Washington from a failure to a hero. The same can be true in
our lives!
We must often be
prepared to patiently wait for our efforts to produce results we can see. It is easy to do something and
expect immediate results. We many even suspect failure has occurred if we don’t
quickly see something tangible happen. But remember that seeds grow underground
before you can see them. Sometimes
they grow slowly and first establish roots before we see any tangible evidence
of life. Those of us who garden learn to wait for the flowers to bloom. In the
same way we must be careful not to casually judge an action or event as a
failure. It is very possible that not enough time has elapsed to correctly
judge the results. That principle holds true in nature and in life.
The
second thing about failure is that it is relative to your perspective. Something terrible may happen in your life, but upon
close examination you may clearly see a “silver lining”. There is an old Norwegian story about a fisherman who was out to sea
with his two sons. The day was very
good and they had achieved a large catch that would make anyone proud. But then
a storm suddenly appeared that was so fierce and dark they could no longer see
the shoreline! The boat rocked and creaked violently and the three men thought
they would lose their lives. As if that wasn’t bad enough, they lost their
sense of direction and feared they would be lost at sea. Unknown to the
fisherman, a tragic fire started at his home about the same time. It began in
the kitchen of his cottage and destroyed every possession he had! The fisherman
and his sons eventually found their bearings and were able to bring their boat
safely ashore. When the men reached the dock, the fisherman’s wife was waiting
to meet him with the tragic news of the fire. She uttered while crying, “Karl,
a fire has destroyed everything we had”. “We have nothing left!” But the fisherman
appeared to be unmoved by her news. She continued, “Karl, are you listening to
me…everything is gone!” Karl nodded his head and replied, “Yes dear…I heard
you…but a couple of hours ago, the boys and I thought we would die at sea. We
were in despair and losing hope we would ever find the shore. Then I saw a dim
yellow glow in the distance. We rowed toward it
closer and closer and it grew ever larger drawing us toward its light. The same
fire that destroyed our home saved our lives!”
Karl
understood an important lesson. Failure is often success when we see it from a different point of view. If we have a
positive mindset it is virtually impossible to reflect on any event which
doesn’t have some good in it, if only
we are willing to look for it. In 1872 a severe drought occurred in California
that shriveled up a farmer’s entire grape crop. All other farmers considered
their crops a failure. However, one farmer sent his “dried up” grapes to a
grocery store and they were advertised as Puruvian
delicacies. These decimated grapes even began to sell for a premium price far
above the cost of fresh grapes! And from this crop failure, we have all been
eating raisins since that time!
Again, failure is largely determined by our perspective and point of view. If
you consider yourself or an event as a failure perhaps another look is in order!
The
perception of life at any given moment may not reveal its true meaning. Most of us make the mistake of judging events by too
short of a segment of time, or too few events! If we judge everything by too
few circumstances, we will incorrectly read the whole of life by a few isolated events. Perhaps another day away or
over the next hill we will be able to view what appeared to be a failure as a
true success. The people who win are those who hold on to their hopes and
dreams and patiently wait for the proper perspective to become clear.
Many
folks feel like failures because they need the right standards to measure success or failure. Success is
not the achievement of power, prestige or great influence. Many individuals
achieve these things but are not happy or even content with what they have.
Many athletes and entertainers achieve these things only to lose it all in an
orgy of self-destruction. Success is doing what you can, with where you are,
and what you have to work with!
Achieving
our best is always limited by our
circumstances. It is easy to say, “if only I have known or if only I could turn
back the hands of time”. But we simply can’t do that, because no one can know
everything. We all have to make decisions and plot our direction only with the information we presently
have at hand.
In conclusion, as a leader be careful
how you define a “failure” and how quickly you make this judgment. Yes, when we feel we
have “missed the mark” or failed, we
should seriously examine what we did wrong to learn from the experience! But, remember that failure is relative to time. What may appear to be
a failure today may have planted the seeds for success later on. Secondly, failure is often success when we
see it from a different point of
view. With a proper perspective…what we actually
experience or the “end result” may be far different than what we immediately see.
Many years ago a young
struggling cartoonist lost his job when he was told by his boss “he couldn’t
draw and had no talent”. He decided to work for himself and find his own
clients. After a long period of struggle and failure he found only one
customer! A minister paid him a very small amount of money to draw advertising
for his church. The cartoonist was so downtrodden and pathetic the church allowed him to stay in their mouse-infested
garage. While he lived there he drew cartoons that no one wanted, and nicknamed
his favorite little mouse who
scurried in the garage…Mickey. From apparent failure Walt Disney transcended
disappointment and misfortune to become a success. He achieved this by believing
in his vision, and his mission along with time
and a right perspective.
So can you!
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About the author:
Greg has an extensive thirty-five years experience in public
speaking and has spoken to hundreds of audiences worldwide. Greg has a Master
of Arts degree in Leadership from
Bellevue University, where he also has served as an adjunct professor teaching
courses in business management and leadership since 2002. His first book, 52 Leadership Tips
(That Will Change How You Lead Others) was published
in 2006 by WingSpan Press. His second book, Making
Life's Puzzle Pieces Fit was published in March 2009. Both are available at
amazon.com. Greg is also the president of Leadership
Excellence, Ltd and a Managing Partner of the Leadership Management
Institute. Leadership
Excellence, Ltd. effectively builds
individuals and organizations to reach their highest potential through enhanced
productivity and personal development using a number of proven programs. He is also the president and founder
of weLEAD Incorporated.