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Congratulations to Mary Sue Polleys, winner of the “Porcupine Personalities” book contest. For her entry Mary Sue has won an autographed copy of 1^st Among Equals, authored by Patrick McKenna and David Maister. Her winning story is published below.

To read a weLEAD review of this book, please click here!

Mary Sue Polleys has also written a past article for weLEAD Online Magazine entitled “College Students as Emerging Servant Leaders: A Collaboration between Columbus State University, Synovus, and Others.” To read her article please click here!

Dealing with a Porcupine Principal

By Mary Sue Polleys

Having worked for a principal who wielded power like a hammer, who kept teachers always on edge, and who resented the authority of his assistant principal, I know the meaning of "porcupine personalities." Tension between the principal and his assistant often spilled over, as it always does when leaders are in conflict, and teachers frequently caught the brunt of the hostility. One day in particular comes to mind when I remember how I finally learned to deal effectively with this porcupine principal who was my boss.

I had permission to leave school when the children left without staying the required 30 minutes after school. It was on one particular occasion when an appointment with my hairdresser was critically important. (Yes, hair cuts can be critical.) Knowing that I was usually at school much earlier and later than required, the assistant principal had approved my request. The principal, however, heard about this permission to leave early and apparently, in his usual porcupine manner, was not happy. On the day in question, when I went to my car to leave, I discovered that the principal had parked in such a way that my car was blocked by his car. I was able to control my anger and remember the formula for sending a clear message that I had taught to many students. Approaching the principal, I included all four elements of a clear message as I said something very similar to the following:

Mr. Williams,

I noticed that you parked your car so that mine is blocked.

I think that means that you do not want me to leave for my hair cut appointment.

I feel frustrated because the assistant principal has approved my leaving early.

I would like to ask you to please move your car now so that I can be on time and

let me know if, in the future, you want me to follow a different procedure

when asking for permission like this.

He moved the car, and we never again had any other similar problem. It was important that I included all four elements of a clear message: I see…I think it means…I feel…I want. It was important that I remained calm and polite and kept an assertive, but not aggressive, manner. Such clear messages can improve relations with difficult people. Margery Williams' delightful Velveteen Rabbit contains a passage in which the wise old skin horse counsels the rabbit about such people. He explained that those who have "sharp edges" never become "real." Sadly, porcupine people are among those who do not become real. They remain on the fringe of life, but we can learn strategies for dealing with them more effectively and maybe even see them begin to retract some of those prickly quills.

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Biography:

Dr. Mary Sue Polleys holds a B.A. in Speech and Education from Mercer University, an M.A. in Speech Communication from Auburn, and a Ph.D. in Educational Psychology from Auburn. Having taught in corporate settings and public and private schools, she has also served for almost nine years as Chair of the Muscogee County School Board, which oversees a public school district of 32,000 students and 5,000 employees. She serves on the faculty of Columbus State University, Columbus, Georgia, as Director of the Servant Leadership Program.