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Will You Find Personal Fulfillment Someday?

-One Leader's Perspective

By Greg L. Thomas

There is one single word that is usually considered synonymous with leadership. That word is vision. How important is it? A number of years ago a former president of the United States was asked what his own vision was for the country during his re-election campaign. His terse response was prominently published in the news media. He seemed slightly perturbed that people wanted him to articulate on what he called the “vision thing”! Many potential supporters sensed he really had no real vision for the nation’s future and he lost his bid for re-election. Vision is an appealing and intuitive picture that vividly expresses how things can be better in the future. Vision instills a common purpose and a sense of unity within a group or organization.

Vision is an important and necessary part of providing leadership and inspiring others to achieve a great cause for a better tomorrow. But what about today? The reality is that the future begins now! We all live in a hectic and frantic pace inside an ever-changing society. It is easy to lose sight of what and who we are working so hard for! Yes, tomorrow is important and future generations are counting on us to do our part in changing the world. It is also true that achieving a better tomorrow often requires commitment and sacrifice today. But where does a leader’s personal happiness and fulfillment fit into their vision for a better tomorrow? Many folks have an imaginary notion that the best of life is just over the hill or around the next corner. They believe that “someday” when their ship comes in, they will finally be content and enjoy life. In this imaginary world called someday, joy and fulfillment is always in the future, but the future never seems to come. As a leader, I want to encourage you to understand that we should be finding enjoyment daily as we go along the road of life. Personal satisfaction is intended to be an important part of our lifelong journey, not the final destination. How has your journey been going lately?

If you feel there is room for improvement in your personal journey, allow me to clear the path a little bit in this article. First, ask yourself a basic question…what am I doing this for? If you work hard and desire to lead others primarily for the sake of money, I can guarantee you will end up being incredibly disappointed. While you are consumed with getting all the things that money can buy, it’s a good thing to stop and ask yourself if you are losing the things money can’t buy! Money can’t buy respect, honor, contentment, deep loving relationships, or a purpose that really satisfies. If you work hard and desire to lead others primarily for the sake of power, you will also become greatly disappointed. Like other selfish motives, the craving for power doesn’t provide lasting satisfaction. The right motives for leadership include the desire to accomplish good things, serving others to help make them better, and a passion to make a positive difference in the world. Allow me to provide a few points on how to get more out of life and increase your sense of personal fulfillment. These points will make you a better leader and provide a deeper level of happiness.

Roses 20 Take time to “stop and smell the roses”. This may sound simple but it is a powerful phrase. First, allow me to discuss “smelling the roses”. In most areas of the world roses do not grow and bloom naturally every day. They bloom in seasons and often in cycles. This means they may be here for a while but not available daily or forever. The point is that some things will not always be available, so take the time to enjoy them while you can. I can assure you that same people, experiences and opportunities you have today will not always be available. Enjoy and appreciate them while you can. Remember that each day is a gift and do not put off enjoying the rose’s bloom until tomorrow, because its petals may be gone!

I often hear the comment that “the older I get the faster the days go by”! There may be more truth to this statement than we realize. Our lifetimes are like thread on a spool which is wound around the spool beginning from the core. When we are young, each single revolution of the spool takes place from the outer edge and time seems lengthened. But as time goes on and the spool slowly unravels, we draw closer to the center of the core and each single revolution is shorter that before. Yes, the days and time do seem to travel by more quickly. This is all the more reason to glean the most we can from each day and to seize the moment.

The second point in this phrase I want to point out is the need to “stop”. Most of us in the Western world work daily at a stressful and frenetic pace. We get caught up in a virtual world of perpetual motion with deadlines, scheduled activities, and ever-growing personal responsibilities. Days seem to come and go and we hardly notice the environment beyond our own limited world. We forget the daily need to “stop” and take a few minutes out of our busy day to get back to the basics of life. The includes taking a brief walk, or reading to a child, or tinkering in the yard, or enjoying a hobby. If we want to have a mental and emotional balance in life we need to compel ourselves to do this daily! This is the stuff that real life is made of. Also, make sure that you take at least one day off a week to spend some personal time with your loved ones and you own personal needs. Even the great religions of the world stress the importance of taking off one day a week for personal time and spiritual reflection. A balanced mind needs not only productive work but recreation, rest, companionship with others, and often a refreshing diversion.

One of the major symptoms of a distorted approach to happiness is an aversion to taking vacations. I have often heard managers say something like “I didn’t take a vacation last year” or “I haven’t had a vacation in 5 years”! Who are we trying to impress? I can assure you that 10 or 20 years from now your spouse and children will not be bragging what a great success you have become. However, what they will remember is that “we never took vacations together as a family”. If you have convinced yourself that you are too busy to take a vacation, you frankly are over overcompensating your ego! If you have convinced yourself that skipping your vacation will help you to “get ahead” or be recognized by others, stop deluding yourself. If that is what it takes to “get ahead” in your organization it is time to post the Emancipation Proclamation on the employee bulletin board. Then find another job where one’s skills and talents are appreciated more than how many hours they log in. You have earned it…you need it…demand it…take your vacation time!

Have you ever heard the phrase that “simple pleasures are the best”? It is as true today as it was 100 and 1000 years ago. The media and modern marketing gurus want to convince us that the latest technological toys will make us happy. It is true that many things are now available that can make our life easier and open up new possibilities. But these things in themselves do not bring happiness. If we can’t find happiness where we are right now, all the things we can possibly buy will not bring it either. One major problem in our consumer-oriented society is the constant push to buy something. Sad to say, millions of individuals attempt to regulate their own sense of self-worth and happiness by what they purchase! When they get discouraged, they go out and buy something. They then feel good about themselves for a few days. But this is only a temporary fix and in a short time they are melancholy again (probably because their credit card payment arrived in the mail). What do they do to feel better? They go out and purchase something else and this vicious cycle is repeated over and over again.

Lowest Prices Simply acquiring things does not bring about lasting fulfillment and contentment. Achieving good and positive things are what really matter. That is what leadership is all about. Family, friends, a great cause, productive work, goals, integrity and love can’t be purchased in a store. It is true that things can be purchased to enhance these simple pleasures, but they can never replace them. Every week the newspaper is full of the stories of athletes or entertainers who thought they could buy their way into happiness or contentment but failed. The most important and satisfying things in life can’t be bought at any price. Focus on the simple pleasures first and learn to enjoy the things you presently have. Find happiness and fulfillment where you are at today. You will find that you need fewer things and the things you do purchase will be more satisfying.

It is important for a leader to have a vision of a better tomorrow. It is also important to articulate that encouraging vision to others in a way that inspires them to a cause. But “tomorrow” was never intended to be the exclusive domain of happiness and personal fulfillment. The plain truth is that balanced individuals now make the best leaders of others in our complex world because they are not self-destructive. They have achieved emotional and cognitive maturity because they have found personal contentment and happiness. It is because they have acquired these qualities, they are now even more ready to lead and serve others.

Remember that your personal fulfillment is intended to be a valuable part of this lifelong journey, not only something you will find “someday” at the final destination.

Comments to: gthomas@leadingtoday.org

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About the author:

Greg has an extensive thirty-five years experience in public speaking and has spoken to hundreds of audiences worldwide. Greg has a Master of Arts degree in Leadership from Bellevue University, where he also has served as an adjunct professor teaching courses in business management and leadership since 2002. His first book, 52 Leadership Tips (That Will Change How You Lead Others) was published in 2006 by WingSpan Press. His second book, Making Life's Puzzle Pieces Fit was published in March 2009. Both are available at amazon.com. Greg is also the president of Leadership Excellence, Ltd and a Managing Partner of the Leadership Management Institute. Leadership Excellence, Ltd. effectively builds individuals and organizations to reach their highest potential through enhanced productivity and personal development using a number of proven programs. He is also the president and founder of weLEAD Incorporated.