weLEAD Online Magazine
Copyright 2001 ã weLEAD,
Inc.
We all come from different cultures
and various backgrounds. The human race is very diverse. We are comprised of
different colors, physical sizes, religious beliefs, political views, cultural
backgrounds and local customs. The various qualities of leadership are also
diverse depending on the needs of this broad diversity. However, as diverse as
we are, there is a universal experience that leaders and followers all have in
common. It is the feeling of disappointment and discouragement! Sometimes we
may be disappointed in the way we have responded or acted in a given situation.
Other times we may be disappointed in others. When we approach the “valleys” of
life our actions seem to become a vicious circle. We are down, and it affects
the qualities of our decisions. The results of these decisions get us even more
discouraged and the cycle continues. In the publication, Leadership by the
Book, a parable reminds us “people who produce good results feel good about
themselves”. Unfortunately the reverse is also true.
Most of the
time we may go through life at a seemingly even pace. Yes, we may have good
days and bad days but they seem to even or balance themselves out as we proceed
through life’s journey. But then there are times when everything seems to go
wrong. Decisions appear to be poor. We offend or hurt people we don’t intend
to. Our confidence seems to sag and everything we “touch” seems to turn into a
negative result. We may begin to question our abilities or even lose sight of
our personal goals or values. It is possible to sink into a period of
melancholy and self-doubt regarding our past achievements or our vision of the
future.
This is
actually a universal human trait. Every indication is that all the great (and
not so great) leaders of human history have experienced periods of
discouragement or mild depression. It is not the purpose of this article to
discuss chronic clinical depression but the natural cycle of human
discouragement we all suffer from occasionally. For example, Thomas Jefferson
experienced a number of episodes of despondency during his life. One such
period occurred after the death of his wife when he was virtually incapacitated
for many days. For Jefferson these periods were usually accompanied by migraine
headaches. Winston Churchill also struggled with periods of dejection and
personal frustration he referred to as the “black dog”. These feelings are
typical of what we all experience at certain difficult times in our lives. So
what can we do when everything seems to go wrong? What should we remember
during these times? What can we do now to prepare for them?
First, understand that these periods
are part of the natural cycle of human life and can actually be beneficial if
we keep these experiences in proper perspective. As people, we tend to focus on
the short-term. We realize life is short and fragile and there is a common
tendency to view everything and every event in a short-term perspective. This
is a mistake because short-term and long-term results are often very different.
Worse yet, their end results are sometimes opposite of one another even though
they are the results of the very same event! The process of time has a way of
changing perspectives or reality. Not wearing that automotive seat belt may
seem like a good idea when you are in a hurry or only traveling a short
distance… until your car is involved in an accident. Telling a lie may seem
like a good answer to avoid embarrassment until others confront us with the
facts. Exaggerating our tax deductions may seem wise until we receive
notification of an audit. Many attractive physical pleasures seem enjoyable in
the short-term but the end results may be expensive, painful or addictive! The
short-term can often seem right only because it is the easy or attractive
route. But as the journey continues, it proves to be a dead end road.
As an avid
gardener I often see homeowners make expensive mistakes by focusing only on the
short-term. A new homeowner typically wants to add color and life to their
landscape. So they will go to the local nursery and purchase trees or shrubs to
add some vibrant color. However, instead of planting and spacing this lush
flora wide apart to accommodate their adult size, they will often plant them
far too close so they will “fill in” the existing space. Having only a
short-term perspective results in these trees or bushes soon growing into each
other, forcing the homeowner to eventually remove some, or all of them. The
same is true of most decisions in life. The short-term perspective appears to
be best and may actually work…for a while. But the effects of time, the
long-term, actually alters or may even negate the short-term results. Author
and theologian Ernest Fitzgerald reminds us, “Triumphs are not always lasting
and defeats are not always permanent.” He continues by stating, “Everyone has
been sometimes up and sometimes down, but few people have known which was which
at the time…everyday may not be a good day but if you hang on, things have a
way of changing. Somehow right things float to the surface. It helps to
remember that when the news coming in is all bad.”
During
times of deep discouragement when everything seems to go wrong, we have a
special affinity for the short-term. Depressed emotions tend to force us to
focus on the way we feel and hurt now! During these times we must be aware of
this tendency. We must remind ourselves that even these feelings are
short-term! Tomorrow will be another day and we must not cloud our thoughts
with only the way we feel at the moment. The right perspective is to accept the
situation at hand but look ahead, knowing the present situation and our
feelings will change in the near future. The right perspective when things go
wrong is to look beyond the present situation and into the future. It may even
be time to review our personal mission statements. Are we on the right mission?
Have we maintained our values and goals? If so, we may be experiencing the
short-term results of a temporary situation that will improve long-term. If we
discover we have deviated from our original mission or our values, it is time
for reflective self-examination. Maybe this episode of despondency has been
caused by an internal conflict over our mission, goals, or values! This is also
a time when many great historical leaders have tapped into the religious, moral
or ethical foundation of their souls to find comfort or seek direction. What
else can we do when everything seems to go wrong?
During your darkest hours you should
honestly ask yourself a simple question. “Just what do I really believe about
my purpose?” You basically have only two choices. You can choose to believe
that your destiny is a matter of time, circumstance or luck and what happens to
us is merely the result of some kind of nebulous fate. If this situation is
correct then all our efforts are essentially worthless and our personal
struggles in vain. If this situation is correct, then everyone and every action
wind-up to the same conclusion. But there is another choice! You can choose to
believe that the creative structures of the universe are so planned that the
path of right choices and values somewhere come out at the right place. The
right road eventually leads to the right destination. The sowing of good seed
will in time bring about a good harvest. If you believe and understand that
your destiny is at least partially in your own hands you will gain comfort and
confidence from maintaining your values. If they are positive, uplifting and
caring they will endure and so will your efforts. If you realize your values
are deficient or self-serving, it is time for a change.
What should
we remember during these times? We all stumble and fall. Eventually everyone
has his or her dreams shattered. Very few people live without severe problems
or personal doubts. The winners are
those who refuse to stay down when they go down. Those who choose to lead are
those who look back and remember their dreams and ideals. The very nature of
leadership motivates one to maintain their personal vision of a better self,
family, organization, business, or society. We should always remember that every
great achievement ever accomplished by the human race has been through struggle
and great resistance. It is also during these times we should draw strength
from our families, friends, or co-workers. I have personally also found it
encouraging reading the biographies of great achievers in history when I am
discouraged. Their lives can remind us of the importance of personal endurance
and determination. What can we do to prepare for times of discouragement or despondency?
Those who
make it during the most difficult times are those who prepared themselves in
advance. During the stable and calm times they have established their
convictions and fixed their values. It is during the peaceful moments they have
decided that people are more important than possessions. A clear conscience is
of greater value than increased profits and integrity is worth more than
dishonest glory. Those who desire to do great things have tested and
established these values during the “good days”. When the valleys of life are
later traveled, the momentum of those deep convictions pull them through toward
the horizon. Those who stand in the dark valleys don’t surrender because they
decided long before what they believe and why. Propelled by the momentum of
their values they walk through the dark valleys until the landscape rises once
again and dawn begins to break.
The greatest possessions of our life
are not those things we discover or embrace on the outside, but what we
discover within ourselves. It is during the times when “everything seems to go
wrong” we are prodded to examine who and what we are. It is also during these
times our beliefs and very purpose may be challenged. As a leader, recognize
that these times also have a profound purpose and have the potential to make us
stronger and wiser. Self-examination and a reaffirmation of our vision and
values are powerful tools. I encourage you to view the difficult times in your
life from a long-term perspective. You are not alone. Other great leaders and
achievers have traveled the same road and felt the same emotions.
They
continued on…so can you!
Comments
to: gthomas@leadingtoday.org
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About
the author:
Greg has over 25
years of sales and marketing experience within the electrical manufacturing
industry. Some of his positions have included being a National Sales Manager, National
Marketing Manager and Regional Sales Manager.
He also has an extensive 35 years experience in public speaking and has
written articles for various publications. Greg has a Master of Arts degree in
Leadership from Bellevue University, where he has served as an adjunct
professor. He is the founder of weLEAD Incorporated, a nonprofit organization
chartered to promote personal and organizational leadership. Greg's personal site is located at http://www.greglthomas.info
References:
Blanchard,
Ken., Hybels, Bill., Hodges, Phil. Leadership by the Book. New York:
William Morrow and Company, Inc., 1999.
Fitzgerald,
Ernest A. Keeping Pace: Inspirations In The Air. Greensboro, North
Carolina: Pace Communications, Inc., 1988