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What Is The Right Way To Peel A Banana?

By Dr. J. Howard Baker

A number of years ago I was lecturing to a college class on the subject of paradigms. The word paradigm comes from the Greek, and means a model, theory, perception, assumption, or frame of reference. Thomas Kuhn, in his landmark book, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, revealed how most breakthroughs come from breaks with old ways of thinking.

While I was lecturing to my class I explained how each of us sees the world through our own paradigms or mental models. Kuhn suggested that a paradigm is prerequisite to perception itself. Stephen Covey says that our paradigms are like a pair of glasses. We get so used to our paradigms that we forget that we are interpreting everything we see through them all the time. We think we see things the way they really are. If someone sees the world differently, we automatically assume that person is wrong!

Assumptions are an important part of the way we see the world. The “I’m right” assumption is one of the most frequently encountered assumptions in leadership positions. While I was discussing the importance of our assumptions with my class, one young man raised his hand to make a comment. The student was an international student from a small, tropical nation. He told the class his story about banana peeling—which I have never forgotten!

When he was a small boy his grandmother taught him the right way to peel a banana—by holding the banana by the part that attaches to the plant. She explained that this is the handle of the banana. “You are then to peel the banana from the tip, holding the banana by the handle.” He continued his story by explaining that this was not just a suggestion from his grandmother. He was told that this was the correct way to peel a banana, and that if he was ever caught peeling a banana from the other end, he would be punished. He grew up knowing the right way to peel a banana.

When this student came to the United States, he was amazed to see so many people peeling a banana the wrong way. Suddenly he was experiencing a banana-peeling paradigm shift! His old assumption about how to peel a banana was being challenged. What he had been taught was the handle of the banana, others regarded as a kind of pop-top—like on a soft drink can. He soon realized that there might be more than one way to correctly peel a banana!

When I asked the class how many peeled their bananas from the tip, as the international student had described, only one other student raised his hand! The rest of my students had never even considered peeling a banana the way he had been taught.

I then asked the class which way was the correct way to peel a banana. At first some insisted that their way was the right way, but after discussing what was meant by right and wrong, most decided that it didn’t really matter which way you peeled a banana—unless you were peeling it near the grandmother of the international student! A good point!

Both methods of peeling a banana were equally right. Both got the job done and each way only represented a preference. Then I asked the class if there could be another way—a way that we had not yet examined—that could also be a legitimate way to peel a banana. They agreed that there could be. I explained that such a way might represent a third alternative. I explained that sometimes there is a third alternative that may represent a better way than either my way or your way. However, if we both suffer from the “I’m right” assumption, we will never discover that better alternative.

Life does not always present us with either/or choices. Sometimes two people can disagree and both be right. Sometimes they can both be right but also incomplete. Sometimes there is a better way than either party has seen, and if they put their heads together, they might discover it.

The fact that there could be more than one right way was in itself a paradigm shift for many of my students. Most of them had grown up with what I call closed system thinking. In a closed system—such as a jigsaw puzzle—there is one right way to do something—for instance, to solve a jigsaw puzzle. For most of their school years my students had been given exams where each question had only one right answer. There was only one source for that one right answer—the teacher. However, most complex situations that leaders and managers face are not in closed systems. Most of the situations faced in real world organizations are open-ended situations with no single correct answer. In such situations there must be room for multiple legitimate perspectives.

How do you currently view the possibility of multiple legitimate perspectives? Are people, such as your mate, children, or employees, trying to send you signals that you need to rethink your “I’m right” assumption?

We rarely examine or question our own paradigms. When others see or do things differently, the tendency is often to immediately think they are wrong. Then we invoke the “I must teach them the right way” assumption. From your worldview, do you believe you are right and all others are inferior or wrong? Do you assume that in order to be an effective leader or manager you must always have the correct answer? Do you believe not having all the answers is a sign of weakness? Do you feel that your answers are the right answers because you are above others in a hierarchy? Do you regard your perspective as the truth?

Unfortunately, those with the “I’m right” assumption usually allow the assumption to remain unchallenged. Such an assumption can maintain a powerful stranglehold on one’s mind. That is because when we hold to this assumption we see no need to challenge the assumption since we already know we are right! If a leader assumes he or she is right, that person is likely to hold tightly to the “I’m right” assumption.

What we need to break this assumption stranglehold is a paradigm shift. If we don’t make the effort to proactively examine and challenge our paradigms, our neglect may ultimately precipitate a crisis. A crisis sometimes loosens our theoretical stereotypes and provides the incremental data necessary for a fundamental paradigm shift. However, not all crises result in a paradigm shift. Sometimes we just temporarily adjust our behavior to weather the crisis and then revert back to our old behavior based on the same old paradigm.

One way to be proactive and start the ball rolling is for each of us to periodically step back and examine our assumptions. We need to explore the validity of our assumptions, including the “I’m right” assumption and the “I must teach you” assumption. When we are not aware of our assumptions they control us, but when we become aware of them we can take control by examining and altering them on a regular basis.

We all know it is a good idea to regularly perform physical self-examinations and periodically have a physician perform a thorough physical exam. We also should have periodic eye examinations, not just to see if we need vision correction, but also to make sure we do not have the symptoms of eye disease. The goal is to maintain good physical health. If physical problems are present, early diagnosis and treatment can avoid more serious and costly health problems.

If our paradigms ultimately determine how we view and treat others—and how we establish and maintain relationships—doesn’t it make sense to perform regular self-examinations and undergo periodic examinations by others of our paradigms? Don’t we want to detect and correct problems in our paradigms and assumptions before they lead to serious problems?

Some people don’t perform physical self-examinations or receive periodic examinations by a physician because deep down in their psyche they are afraid something bad might be detected. They, like the proverbial ostrich, figuratively bury their head in the sand, hoping the problem will magically disappear on its own. Unfortunately, most of the time the undetected problem just grows worse and silently becomes an even greater health problem. There are certain things in life that are such big deals that we don’t care to face them. We cling to the false security that comes from intentional ignorance. However, this is never a long-term solution.

Do you regularly examine and challenge your paradigms? How do you go about examining your paradigms? How do you unearth your underlying assumptions?

The steps to better “paradigm health” are the same as for better physical health:

1. Early detection of the problem

2. Complete and accurate diagnosis of the problem

3. Correct prescription to correct the problem

What I just listed is not rocket science. Most of us are very familiar with these three steps. However, we also know that we can know something intellectually but have a very difficult time putting what we know into practice. We often desire to remain blind to our own assumptions.

You can gain great insight about yourself from frequent, regular, and ongoing feedback from others. Accountable people constantly seek feedback. The perception of reality offered by other people—whether you agree with them or not—always adds important nuances to your own perception of reality.

We need help from others to unearth and examine our assumptions, just as we need a physician to perform a physical exam. Why not start seeking feedback from your spouse, your children, or one or two close friends? Don’t just ask them for feedback once, but on a regular basis. This may sound dangerous, but if it is done in humility and with the attitude of wanting to serve others, it can result in closer relationships.

I know that many will react to this suggestion like the proverbial ostrich! That is why this second suggestion is critical. Seek the right kind of feedback. We are all familiar with the concepts of constructive feedback and destructive feedback. Constructive feedback is specific, supportive, timely, and gets to the heart of the problem. On the other hand, destructive feedback is vague, threatening, pessimistic, and makes you feel like you have been attacked.

Now, let us return to the banana-peeling story. We can think of constructive criticism and destructive criticism as two ways to peel a banana. You peel it from the tip and I peel it from the stalk. I think that if we have a choice, most of us would prefer constructive criticism to destructive criticism. However, down deep inside we know that even constructive criticism can wound us, so we avoid it.

It has been said that most people would rather drink Clorox than receive feedback. This is partly due to the fact that they are not used to receiving feedback, and partly because they usually do not receive the best kind of feedback. In their new book, How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seven Languages for Transformation (Jossey-Bass, 2000), Kegan and Lahey state: “…many a relationship has been damaged and a work setting poisoned by perfectly delivered constructive feedback…’The helping hand strikes again!’”

All of us have experienced failure trying to change the attitude and behavior of another through constructive feedback. Could it be that we have been working from an incorrect feedback paradigm?

Recall that I asked my class whether there could be another way—a way that we had not yet examined—that could also be a legitimate way to peel a banana. They had all agreed that there could be. Such a way, a third alternative, might represent a better way of accomplishing our purpose.

Kegan and Lahey present a third alternative to constructive and destructive feedback called deconstructive criticism. It is based on a learning paradigm rather than a teaching paradigm. In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic (Simon & Schuster, 1989), Stephen Covey’s Habit 5 says, “seek first to understand, then to be understood”. Rather than trying to control or straighten out the other person, using this third alternative we seek first to disassemble, to learn and to understand. We truly want to see the situation from the other person’s perspective. We avoid the “I’m right” and “I must teach” assumptions.

Covey emphasizes the fact that creating a frame for learning is under our control—our circle of influence. As we create this genuine frame for learning, we are influenceable. Covey says that “being influenceable is the key to influencing others.” Seeking to understand the assumptions and meaning that the other person has created internally will eventually open up the opportunity to address assumption problems.

Before you seek or give feedback, establish deconstructive feedback as the paradigm for interaction. This paradigm is based on mutual respect. Using such a paradigm, each participant in the interaction recognizes that perceptions can be vastly different. The parties will interact by exploring each other’s assumptions from the perspective of I-could-be-wrong or I-could-be-incomplete. As Blaine Lee says, “pride asks Who is right? while humility asks, What is right?

We all have our to-do checklists. What we need to create is a to-be checklist! We address the items on such a checklist through self-assessment and seeking deconstructive feedback. Through a combination of courage and consideration we will come to the place where we realize that there are other right ways to peel a banana—ways that might be very different from our current thoughts!

Comments to: jhb001@juno.com

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About the author:

Dr. J. Howard Baker is Assistant Professor of Computer Information Systems at the University of Louisiana at Monroe. Dr. Baker has been a Franklin Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People certified facilitator for eight years, and has served the University of Texas at Tyler as their facilitator for four years. During the summer he offers a graduate and undergraduate course at U. T. Tyler in personal and organizational leadership. He holds a B.S. in Management from Samford University, a Master of Accounting (MAcc) from the University of Southern California, and a Ph.D. in Information Systems from the University of Texas at Arlington.

References:

Barker, Joel. Paradigms: The Business of Discovering the Future. New York: HarperCollins, 1992.

Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989.

Covey, Stephen R. Principle-Centered Leadership. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1991.

Dahle, Cheryl. “What Are Your Complaining About?” Fast Company Vol. 46, May 2001: 66,68

Kegan, Robert and Lahey, Lisa. How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seven Languages for Transformation. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2000.

Kuhn, Thomas S. The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1970.

Lee, Blaine. The Power Principle: Influence with Honor. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1997.